It Is Well

A friend announced on Facebook that it had been 16 years from when they had started having children and after many complications, were celebrating on that day, the birth of their adopted 8 year old son.

I commented on her status with "Think of the first 8 years as expanding your heart to be able to store all the love you now have for your boys."

Do I really believe this?

Eight years is a long time to struggle with trying to have kids.  My wife and I struggled for a few years but not 8 years.  It was a long road for our journey and we ended up adopting as well.  Does the struggle truly make the end better?

As a parent, I have always believed that while I love my children and I never want them to need for anything, I would not spoil them by providing all their 'wants'. My desire has been for them to learn to appreciate what they have and not take it for granted.  For my sons, this has meant that they have gone to school without the latest hip clothes, cell phones and other technology wonders.  Truly first world issues but in their minds, these were real struggles for them.

Is that what struggles do? Does the experience of the struggle teach us to appreciate what we have or in some cases, what we will have?

I don't have to look far to find examples of people in their own struggles right now.

One person who I met through this blog, is spending great lengths of time away from his wife and they are struggling with that time apart.  I used to travel a lot for work and while I loved the work I was doing, but hated being away from my family.  When I got home, I wanted to be with my family. The separation strengthened the attraction. (Updated note: I am now traveling a lot for work again!)

I have a good friend whose wife left him a number of years ago.  Both were Christians, but Christ wasn't center in their lives. It was extremely tough those first few months after her departure. But over the last 5 years, I've seen an amazing transformation in him during his struggle.  He has become one of the most 'at peace' people I have ever met.  His tone and conversation is always calm and encouraging.  He is now encouraging other men going through the same experience.  And all the while, he remains faithful to his estranged wife and prays for her.  He is in his struggle and he is finding joy.  How is that possible?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)

The famous pastor and author of "The Purpose Driven Life", Rick Warren, recently lost his son to mental disease.  His son took his own life.  I can't even imagine how to respond to that struggle but to share in his grief.

I am reading "The Purpose Driven Life" again.  Day 25 "Transformed by Trouble" hit me like....  anything I write here will be a bad cliché.  The chapter screams to each of us who are about to struggle, who are struggling or who have struggled - each and every one of us.

And especially Rick Warren and his family right now.

"You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you've got."

"Whenever we try to avoid or escape the difficulties in life, we short-circuit the process, delay our growth, and actually end up with a worse kind of pain - the worthless type that accompanies denial and avoidance."

I have shared at length and probably with too much transparency, the struggles I've had. I'm not looking for solace. I'm not looking for pity. My desire is that you won't hit the same walls I've hit as I've tried to handle the situation myself and 'short-circuit the process' by trying to control my destiny.

Releasing the struggle over to God has not freed me from the experience of the struggle but it has freed me from the bondage of that struggle.

Are you learning from your struggle experience or are you succumbing to the bondage?

Shortly after I became a Christian, I was introduced to a song simply called 'It Is Well'.  It is the story of Horatio Spafford.  In 1873, he planned to travel to Europe with his family from the US for a family vacation. Some business delayed his departure and his family left ahead of him.  The ship they were on sank, taking with it, Horatio's four daughters.

Let his words to the song that he wrote in response to his struggle comfort you and if you are in a struggle, I pray that it releases you from your bondage today.

So to answer my first question: Yes, I do believe that struggles do prepare us for what is coming - if we only allow it to and don't get caught in bondage.  Are you allowing it to prepare you?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

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