Loving The Other Mother (Guest Post)

Jenn Grimm is fellow blogger who I've really come to admire.  Her stories about their family of FIVE children through natural conception and adoption have really hit home.  She blogs at Growing Up Grimm.  I'm sure you will enjoy this as much as I have.  Originally published January 2, 2013.

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Loving The Other Mother by Jenn Grimm

The holidays seem to be an emotional time for many. This family is no exception. December was a bitter sweet month for me. All month long I was thinking about The Other Mother. She’s been on the back of my mind and someone that I pray for regularly since the moment I met her.

When we moved to North Dakota the plan was for us to adopt the two boys and for her to join us out here after the adoption was final. She is as much a part of this family as my son it. And while I didn't understand it at the time, the state of North Dakota denied Tough the transition into our home. He had to stay back in Montana while Mr. Man was able to continue to live with us. I didn't get it, but I knew that God was working something out for my good, Tough’s good, and HIS glory. Yet, it hurt. And it still does. My heart aches for a child that doesn't have a mama to hold him. Especially Tough, he is a wounded little soul. Marked by our fouled up system as unlovable, when I know that simply isn't true. He has a mama who desperately wants to hold him. Who loves him unconditionally, but because of our system is unable too. It looked so bleak.

About a month after finding out that Tough would not be coming to live with us I made the trip back to Montana to see The Other Mother. Her pain was written all over her face. She was soaked in hopelessness, and was turning her back on everything that she knew in her heart was good for her. She tried to pretend with me that things were going well, but there is something between our hearts that is connected and I knew. I knew in my soul that this mama was hurting. And it was easier for her to push me away, than for her to lose me like she’d lost everyone else that mattered to her. When I left the coffee shop that day I knew that I would not hear from her for a long time, but I prayed that she would eventually call. She is not an easy person to get ahold of, she keeps it that way. I remain constant, she can call me anytime, my number never changes and my door is always open.

A few days ago, Mr. Man was the first one up and we were snuggling on the couch. I asked him about The Other Mother. “I miss her.” He said. “Oh baby, I miss her too.” I replied. Oh how my heart just ached to know how she was doing. I just wanted to hear from her.

Last night at 8:30 pm I got a text. From the texts I had been getting that day I was exhausted by the drama that being friends with women brings, so I told Big T that I didn't even want to read it. So he got up and started to read it out loud to me.

“Hi, this is A (The other mother), I lost your number, but I found it again. I hope you are well. Trust in the Lord.”

I came out of my seat, snatched the phone away and called her immediately.

She was crying.

 We talked for about 2 hours. She is doing so well. But she didn't want to talk to me because she was afraid that I would be disappointed in her. She hasn't been doing well, only recently.

"Girl," I cried to her, "child, I LOVE you. Nothing changes that, ever. Not ever. Nothing you have done, are doing or will do will ever change how I love you. You are my heart."

As I said the words, knowing how true they were in my heart, and how I have only EVER felt this love for my children, I heard Christ.

This is what I think about you. He whispered to my soul.

I have been hiding for almost as long as The Other Mother. I have felt like a huge disappointment to someone that I love so much. I worry that I will lose His love, even when I know that is irrational thinking.

I said to her “I know you don’t believe that this love doesn't have a price, or limits. I know that is not a love you have experience before, but time will show you that what I say is true. I can love you despite yourself, not because of who you are, or what you do.”

“I am scared.” She whimpered back.

I thought to myself, “Me too.”

Jenn Grimm
Growing Up Grimm

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Thank you for taking the time to read this 'Wandering Thought'.  If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you.  You can leave a comment below, share your own personal revelations or send me a personal message on Google+.

May you be blessed today.