The End of the Storm

My dog hates storms.

Specifically, he hates thunder.  He hears it coming before the rest of us hear it.  When he does, he changes from this big imposing dog with an even bigger bark into a whiny little pup who tries to hide behind anything.

It seems that his aversion to storms has gotten worse over time.  Each storm leaving a mark on him that isn't healing.

Storms leave their marks whether it is physically or mentally.  We all can think of storms that we've encountered where trees have been snapped like twigs.  It happened just a few weeks ago in our area. We saw the destruction as huge trees were knocked down all along the road to our cottage.

After the storm is when the clean-up begins.

A while ago, I shared a storm that is going on in our family (Stepping Out Into The Storm).  Today, the storm is ending.  My son is moving back to his home.  We are becoming a family again.

Are there a few downed trees?  Yes.  Will there be work cleaning up the mess?  Absolutely! Are we going to encounter a few more storms?  Probably.

But today we can celebrate the End of the Storm and thank God who has kept our son safe for the past year and answered our prayers and the countless prayers submitted by friends and family.  

Thank You Lord for Your strength this past year and for Your continued strength in the months to come.  Thank You for the return of C and keeping him safe in all of his choices and situations he has faced.  Lord, I pray that You will use these experiences to glorify You.  And Lord, I pray for blessing on all those who have prayed for C over the past year, many who have never even met him. Allow them to experience to the joy I am experiencing now.  Amen.

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

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Have a wonderful day.

Turning Back

On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.” - Luke 17:11-19 (ESV)

In most of the western world, we don't have a strong grasp on what it meant to be a leper back in the time referenced by this scripture.

Lepers were completely cut-off by society. They could not be with their families. For most, they couldn't work in their trained profession as it require them interacting with others. They were required to wear bells so that people would know that the 'unclean' people were near.

Look at the passage - 'who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices'. They were required to keep their distance.

And so to have someone completely heal them and restore their lives, profession and families, you would think they would be forever grateful?  Right?! And yet, only one 'turned back' and acknowledged the source of their true cleansing.

How many times have I been one of the other 9 lepers? How many times has Jesus been asking himself the same questions when I've failed to acknowledge source of the miracles all around me, and yet, how quickly do I turn to Him when things don't go the way that I want them to go?

And isn't that the way things go in our society today?  The Sunday right after the 9/11 tragedy saw impressive numbers at churches all over North America.  But when we get the perfect new job, do we rush out to church and give thanks? When we celebrate the birth of a baby, do we drop on our knees to give praise to the giver of life?

I find the dialog that Jesus has in response to the one who did return to be quite interesting.  He asks a number of questions that seem to be rhetorical and probably not directed at the one who did return. Could it be that the questions were directed to us? A reminder for us to stop and acknowledge a blessing that we haven't 'turned back, praising God with a loud voice;' falling on our face 'giving Him thanks'?

What area of your life do you need to turn back to and give praise to God?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

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Gardener Pete

Early in my marriage, we owned a small house with a big overgrown field connected to our backyard. Like most newlyweds full of adventure and a sense of invincibility, we undertook ambitious plans to tame the field and create a garden which would stock our kitchen.

Our first attempt was to try to turn the earth by hand using shovels.  The field won round one.


The second attempt involved a garden tiller to break up the ground and prepare for seeding.  We were victorious, or at least we thought.  Within a few weeks, all of those weeds were growing back in full force mixed in with the seeds that we had planted.  The field won round two.

We continued to battle with the weeds and produced a meager crop.

Our second year was much more successful. With the perseverance of weeding and continuing to turn the earth, the fruits of our labor started to show in our second year and the garden produced enough for multiple homes on the street.

However, we weren't huge vegetable eaters. Even though we know it was good for us and will help keep us healthy, we were choosing simpler and quicker methods to eat. While we enjoyed the harvest of the garden, we didn't enjoy the frequent watering, weeding and feeding that the garden required.

So we stopped working the earth and the field began to overgrown with weeds again.  And we had an overgrown field behind us again.

This story pops to mind as I read the following verses:

While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants.  Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”

When he said this, he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,

“‘though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.’

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."  - Luke 8:4-15

Jesus was talking in parables as He often did.  Not everyone is prepared to receive the seed or hear the 'Word'.  Like the overgrown field in our backyard, the hearts need to be prepared to receive the good news. In some cases, that may involve some serious work based on the condition of the heart.

And the work needs to be consistent.  Like a gardener, it needs to be a little bit of work every day, rather than trying to do 2 weeks of work in one sitting.  Reading one verse a day will bear way more fruit than sitting and reading a complete book once a month.  I can't tell you how many times I've gotten stuck on a single verse and then stopped reading that day just to let it soak in.

It is only when we get into that simple and repeatable rhythm can we hope to have 'good soil' and a 'good heart, who hear the word, retain it'.

We all know that God's Word - the Bible, is good for us.  We've all acknowledged that many times, perhaps as recently as our last church service.

But we are also really good at taking the easy road. We expect to be fed spiritually what we need to be fed.  We expect inspirational messages every week at church.  We expect that the verses we need in challenging circumstances will pop into our heads.  We expect that our children will learn to love their Bible by seeing us NOT read our Bible.

Jesus ends the parable with the most understated warning: "and by persevering produce a crop".

The 'persevering' encompasses times when we don't feel like opening our Bibles, when our schedules encroach our dedicated Bible time or when our normal routines are turned upside down from vacation or major life events.  What would happen to the garden if we left it alone for 3 or 4 weeks?  Would we even bother to tend it after it has become overgrown? We need to avoid all temptations to stop gardening.

The great thing about getting into the Word is that it isn't limited to a calendar growing season.  You can start planting today, work the soil and watch the crop emerge.  And that is the miracle of the Word, not only will it have significance in your life, it will bear fruit all around you.

How is your gardening going today?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

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It Is Well

A friend announced on Facebook that it had been 16 years from when they had started having children and after many complications, were celebrating on that day, the birth of their adopted 8 year old son.

I commented on her status with "Think of the first 8 years as expanding your heart to be able to store all the love you now have for your boys."

Do I really believe this?

Eight years is a long time to struggle with trying to have kids.  My wife and I struggled for a few years but not 8 years.  It was a long road for our journey and we ended up adopting as well.  Does the struggle truly make the end better?

As a parent, I have always believed that while I love my children and I never want them to need for anything, I would not spoil them by providing all their 'wants'. My desire has been for them to learn to appreciate what they have and not take it for granted.  For my sons, this has meant that they have gone to school without the latest hip clothes, cell phones and other technology wonders.  Truly first world issues but in their minds, these were real struggles for them.

Is that what struggles do? Does the experience of the struggle teach us to appreciate what we have or in some cases, what we will have?

I don't have to look far to find examples of people in their own struggles right now.

One person who I met through this blog, is spending great lengths of time away from his wife and they are struggling with that time apart.  I used to travel a lot for work and while I loved the work I was doing, but hated being away from my family.  When I got home, I wanted to be with my family. The separation strengthened the attraction. (Updated note: I am now traveling a lot for work again!)

I have a good friend whose wife left him a number of years ago.  Both were Christians, but Christ wasn't center in their lives. It was extremely tough those first few months after her departure. But over the last 5 years, I've seen an amazing transformation in him during his struggle.  He has become one of the most 'at peace' people I have ever met.  His tone and conversation is always calm and encouraging.  He is now encouraging other men going through the same experience.  And all the while, he remains faithful to his estranged wife and prays for her.  He is in his struggle and he is finding joy.  How is that possible?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)

The famous pastor and author of "The Purpose Driven Life", Rick Warren, recently lost his son to mental disease.  His son took his own life.  I can't even imagine how to respond to that struggle but to share in his grief.

I am reading "The Purpose Driven Life" again.  Day 25 "Transformed by Trouble" hit me like....  anything I write here will be a bad cliché.  The chapter screams to each of us who are about to struggle, who are struggling or who have struggled - each and every one of us.

And especially Rick Warren and his family right now.

"You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you've got."

"Whenever we try to avoid or escape the difficulties in life, we short-circuit the process, delay our growth, and actually end up with a worse kind of pain - the worthless type that accompanies denial and avoidance."

I have shared at length and probably with too much transparency, the struggles I've had. I'm not looking for solace. I'm not looking for pity. My desire is that you won't hit the same walls I've hit as I've tried to handle the situation myself and 'short-circuit the process' by trying to control my destiny.

Releasing the struggle over to God has not freed me from the experience of the struggle but it has freed me from the bondage of that struggle.

Are you learning from your struggle experience or are you succumbing to the bondage?

Shortly after I became a Christian, I was introduced to a song simply called 'It Is Well'.  It is the story of Horatio Spafford.  In 1873, he planned to travel to Europe with his family from the US for a family vacation. Some business delayed his departure and his family left ahead of him.  The ship they were on sank, taking with it, Horatio's four daughters.

Let his words to the song that he wrote in response to his struggle comfort you and if you are in a struggle, I pray that it releases you from your bondage today.

So to answer my first question: Yes, I do believe that struggles do prepare us for what is coming - if we only allow it to and don't get caught in bondage.  Are you allowing it to prepare you?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

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The Host of the Party (Guest Post)

One of the best days to be at church is the day adult baptisms take place.  I will often reschedule my calendar or even go to another church to attend a baptism to be there for that day.  

Why?  

Because there is an enthusiasm that exudes from the person being baptized that I am inspired by.  

Because each story is another example of  how unique and intimate our relationship with Jesus can be.

Because it is one of the happiest days in the life of a believer and I'm honored to be there.

On Easter Sunday this year, our church celebrated the resurrection of Jesus with a few baptisms.  What better way to celebrate Easter?!

Jason was one of the people baptized.  His enthusiasm over the past year has been contagious throughout our whole church.  I've been lucky enough to watch his growth as we play on the worship team together.  

And the story of his joining the worship team is a story of sacrifice in itself.  He hadn't played drums since high school.  Like most families with young children, extra cash isn't something he is burdened with.  He sold his motorcycle so that he could buy some drums to be able to practice.  

Jason wants everyone to experience what he has come to experience.  He wants everyone to come and know His Savior.  The following is a small portion of his testimony.     

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The Host of the Party by Jason Pierosara

Why do I want to be baptized?

Out of respect. Out of love for The Lord. Out of recognition of all the wonderful things that Jesus has given me and done for me in my life, while I was, and continue to be a sinner - while I blatantly disregarded and at times turned my back on Him. For the new life I have been given. For the redemption bestowed upon me. For the trust He has put and continues to put in me. For the faith He has in me to do right by Him. For the hope and excitement I have. For my friendship with Him.

The past year has been the most exciting and wonderful year of my entire life. Up to that point, it is difficult to explain, but I had always felt like I was waiting for my life to begin. My complete life - my whole life - started a little more than a year ago. Up to that point I had everything. I had been blessed to have loving parents who were and still are happily married, a happy home and childhood, my health, a good education, an incredible wife, and two amazing, healthy children. I had always believed in God and was baptized as a baby in the Roman Catholic Church. But up to that point I never had a relationship with Jesus.

When I first started talking to my pastor about my faith early last summer, I explained to him how I thought about my relationship with Jesus. I felt like a bit of an outsider. It was like there was this party, and everyone was inside, mingling, talking, laughing and having fun. Jesus was at the party. He was in the house, in the back corner. I was at the front door looking in. I wanted to go in, and I wanted to go up to Jesus and introduce myself and talk to Him - to get to know Him. But of course, I couldn't do that! I wasn't worthy of that. It was Jesus - and I thought you can't just walk up to Jesus - it's Jesus!! You needed to prepare. You needed to know about Him. You needed to atone yourself. You needed to be a good person. You needed to be someone who did good things. You needed to be worthy.

And I certainly wasn't.

Slowly, and thankfully, I began to feel more comfortable at the door. And it was my sister and my brother-in-law, and it was my pastor and his wife, the first people that really got me on track with my faith, who were at the entrance of the house, and they were so warm and made me feel like I was welcome. I knew I was at the right place. I was invited. I was supposed to be there. So I took my first steps into the house. And soon, I met my homechurch family. Then my church worship team. And all of you. Each of you was at the party, and still are.

All the while, I felt Jesus watching me from that back corner and smiling, as I began to enter deeper and deeper into the house, surrounding myself with all of you. And finally, I've shyly and sheepishly made my way to that back corner, where Jesus had been watching me the whole time. And today, I stand in front of Him. And I don't need to introduce myself to Him. He knows me. He always has. And it's His house that the party is in. And He is the one that threw the party. And I was never intended to be just a guest at this party. He threw the party for me.

Of course I realize now that you don’t have to do anything to prepare to talk or walk with Jesus. I was the only one holding back my relationship with Him. But it’s not an easy lesson to learn that I didn't need to feel guilt or shame for the things I've done in the past. No matter what my sins were, or what they will be. He loves me. He was protecting and loving me the whole time. And I know today He’s in heaven today rejoicing over me.

And it’s an indescribable feeling.

Jason Pierosara

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Would you like to share your testimony?  I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by email.

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Have a wonderful day.

While I'm Waiting

When I was a young punk, also known as my late teens, I worked with a Christian guy that was nice enough and reminded me a lot of "My Friend Joshua". I don't remember his name but I vividly remember the day he suggested I might like this "Christian" music he was listening to.

Listening to music was a huge part of my life.  I had all the latest hits playing in my car.  This act in itself was no small feat as some of you may remember. This was before the age of iPods, mp3's and even CD's.  We are talking about the age of cassettes.

I put an immense amount of time, energy and money behind my passion for music.

So when this guy suggested I might like this music he was playing in his very cool car (an old Firebird), I scoffed at the idea!  What type of fool was he?!

What type of fool was I?!

I am now an old punk.  I guess the proper term would be 'middle-aged' punk.

Many things have changed since I was a young punk but I still have a massive passion for music.  While I'm writing this, I am listening to a radio station through my computer.  I carry my complete, extensive and wholly owned music collection with me on an electronic device smaller than my archaic wallet.  This same device which also serves as a phone, camera, social media connection and my portable writing pad for blogging.

I am feeling older by the moment!

Thankfully, one of the things that has changed is my perspective (Changing Perspectives) on Christian music. Take away the words and the music often leaves me humming along hours later.  Add the words of truth and statements of faith by the artists, and I realize just how grand a fool I was when I was younger.

Now I listen almost exclusively to Christian music.

Depending on where I am in my faith journey, certain songs have spoken to me in the situation.

Right now, I am preparing for the return to the scene of the crime where I was changed "From The Inside Out" (another wonderful song) during a retreat last year.

I've been asked to lead worship during the weekend and the theme song is "While I'm Waiting" made famous by the movie "Fireproof".  As I've been preparing and meditating on the words, it has spoken into my life and the situations I'm currently in.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

This section of the song speaks to the current struggles we are having with our oldest son (Stepping Into The Storm). We are hopeful and trusting God with a successful result, but it has been painful watching him go through his struggles on his own.

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

The second portion of this song speaks to my journey over the past year. I have confidence that is not from my own strength but by His strength.  I am taking steps of obedience (like this blog) that I would never have done on my own, sharing my testimony and singing.  

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

This last section speaks to me about where I am currently in my faith journey.  I know there is something more that I am being called to do.  I am not exactly sure what it is, it may simply be to faithfully continue what I am doing.  I don't know.

But while I wait, I will give praise and worship.

While I wait, I will serve through blogging, fellowship and using the gifts I've been given.

While I wait, I will continue to pursue Him.

How do you react when you need to wait?
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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or share it with a friend.

Changing Perspectives

Today I start a new job.

It's not a huge change from what I did before.  I still work with numbers (Reaching 1000).  I again work for a software company helping my customers making sense of the extensive data that they have collected.

The circumstances are the same.

For the past 22 years, regardless of the company I've been working for, I have always done my job using the same software solution. It has been the one constant throughout my career.  I spent over 10 years working for the company that made the software solution, and having the company name on my resume set me apart from the rest of the candidates.  The 'name' has provided for my family, purchased a home and cars and brought stability during tough times.

And now, I am starting a new chapter in my career where that 'name' will no longer be part of my resume.  That which has been part of my identity for over 20 years, what I've promoted and believed to be the best solution for my customers, will no longer be part of my perspective.

The circumstances are the same but now, my perspective has changed.

I was first introduced to this expression a year ago by Doug (The Fly Fart).

I had just finished dealing with some heavy stuff in my life. Talking about it didn't change my circumstances.  I was still going to go home and be in the exact same situation.

But now my perspective was different.  

I've thought about that talk many times over the past year.  For the longest time, it was hard to put into words what the change was or how it changed me.  But it has been the catalyst behind all of my actions over the past year.

I am often asked how I can be so transparent in my writing.  The easiest answer to give but most difficult to explain is "my perspective has changed".

I can't change what I've done in the past. I can only change what I do in the future. Or more specifically, what I do in the next few minutes.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I am a new creation.  My perspective has changed!

It does not mean that I won't make mistakes.  For examples of this, look at my interaction with the football fan in "Uncomfortably Comfortable" or my constant struggle with judging people in "The Biker Lunch". But my new perspective allows me to acknowledge my mistakes, learn from them and move forward.

Today, I am excited to be starting my new job armed with my new perspective.

Are you needing a new perspective?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or share it with a friend.

My Plastic Jesus (Guest Post)

The first person to suggest that I should start blogging, is today sharing her testimony on Wandering Thoughts.  Tanya Peatt has been one of my editors and encouragers since starting to blog.  When she first shared her testimony with me, I was blown away with how her belief in Christianity started.  I'm sure you will be too.

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My Plastic Jesus by Tanya Peatt

The spring before I turned 18, I went to visit my grandparent's ranch in the East Kootenays of BC for spring break. This is a place where the mountains tower over you wherever you are. They are moody as weather systems move in and out but when they are happy the whole valley is alight with beauty. I had been born here but moved away when I was young.

East Kootenays - Fisher Peak

As a teenager, I was so many things all at once: a fashion designer, an outdoor adventurer, a traveler  and a poet. I loved to go walking in the solitude of the wilderness. So one day I packed up my writing stuff in the canvas bag I had sewn, swung it across my shoulders, and I went for a walk.

I walked away from the house, went down an old dirt highway into the bush, parallel to the mountains. I remember thinking how odd it would be to meet someone there. The spring had begun to melt the snow, but it had been re-frozen so my feet crunched loudly in the quiet as I walked. When I came to the end of the road there was a rock pile. As I climbed up and sat there, I found a statue.

I recognized the heavily-robed iconic figure as a statue of Jesus. He was pointing with one hand to his blazing heart and with the other hand to the sky. But it wasn't like the polished ones I had seen at the Christmas masses my mother forced the family to attend once a year - this one had been tossed out like trash. It was plastic, the paint was flaking off and as I picked it up water fell out the bottom.

I brought out my paper and pen and began writing. I filled up a whole page just describing this strange artifact I had found. I used the space at the bottom of the page to write, inexplicably, "will you walk with me?" and stood up to leave.

I took a few steps, and very quietly, but all of a sudden, it felt as though someone had hugged me. It felt like someone, hugged me, and loved me, for no reason at all. I knew that it had something to do with that Jesus figure.

So I went home and sought Him out.

Tanya Peatt

Photo Credit: James Kingsley


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Would you like to share your testimony?  I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by email.

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Have a wonderful day.

My Friend Joshua (Epilogue)

This is the end of the Joshua series.

If you have missed any of the installments of this series, you will want to read it here (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3).

Epilogue

The ability to look back upon my life and see the paths I've chosen is a capability each of us shares.

When I do look back, I can see the effects of life altering choices. Some of us get stuck dwelling upon the past and things we can't change. Some of us don't look back. And some, I would say the wise ones, look back to learn from their experiences.

This past week, I watched a movie with friends where we knew the outcome of the story before it started. The hero was unjustly persecuted and prosecuted. He was beaten and didn't attempt to defend himself. He did it all to save those he loved, even those who didn't love him. Throughout the movie we would yell out “Stop!” or “Get away!” or even "Why?", knowing that it was pointless. He was going to die.

Telling the story of Joshua is like that for me.

I have no ability to change the outcome of the story. The choices have already been made and I am helpless to control it.

But what if we knew the future? What if we knew years in advance that we would need to sacrifice our life to save someone else? And that doing so would come with the reward of great pain and disappointment.

Would we change the outcome? Would we still stay the course?

Nine years after college, I began to learn the truth of Joshua. People, who knew him well, began to explain who he truly was and why he died.

As I learned more, I began to experience a new freedom that I had never experienced in college, a grace induced freedom.

They used a name different than Joshua. Joshua is an English translation from the Hebrew word “Yahweh”. Yahweh is also translated to “God” or “Jesus”. Jesus being the name most of us use today.

And Joshua didn't die while I was in college; he died close to 2,000 years ago.

He knew he must die. His death was foretold hundreds of years earlier. He spoke with his friends about his death and why he must die, and yet they did not understand. The overwhelming purpose of his death was to repair a broken relationship between our creator and the people created in his own image.

And he could have stopped it at anytime.

He chose instead to demonstrate a love that had never been displayed before, unconditional love.

Despite anything I've ever done. Anything!

Despite the fact that I could get drunk beyond recollection, he still loves me.
Despite the fact that I could exploit others for sexual pleasures, he still loves me.
Despite the fact that I could gossip or take pleasure in the misfortunes of others, he still loves me.
Despite the fact that I could ignore him or deny knowing him, he still loves me.

He loves me even with all my faults! In fact, because of my faults, he loves me!

He has loved me since I was first conceived. He loved me for the 9 months in my mother’s womb, all the years leading up to college and the years since. He loves me the same today as the day he died on the cross so that I could have a life beyond the life I am experiencing while I am still breathing.

And he loves you the exact same way.

He knows everything you have ever done. There is no secret you can hide from him. He was there when you did it and knows when you thought it. And yet, he still loves you, unconditionally.

Are you ready to experience a new freedom, the freedom that comes from grace?

Are you ready to meet my friend Jesus?

Author’s Notes

The story of 'My Friend Joshua' is the combination of events from my youth/college years and examples I've read in the Bible. Combining my story with the story of Jesus, was done to modernize His story into one that each of us could relate to.

If you feel I've misled you, I apologize. Please don’t allow my Joshua story to obscure your vision of Jesus. I am imperfect while He is perfect.

For those of you that are interested, I am including how I experienced Joshua/Jesus in each of the sections of my college years. But before I get there, I need to provide a little background.

While I was in college, I did not have a relationship with Jesus. I had always gone to church but it was an activity, nothing more than that.

When I was growing up, my understanding of being a Christian revolved around rules. The commandments were the rules and if we followed the rules, we would be going to heaven. The God I believed in was rule-based.

The truth is that Christianity is about a relationship. The 'commandments' are boiled down to love God and to love others.

It really is that simple.

College is the defining point for many people in their spiritual walks. The freedoms I explored in college were real and they often lead believers away from their beliefs. I have many friends and family members who I attended church with prior to college who no longer attend or believe in God.

Of course, looking back now, it is easy to see why. I did not understand the relational aspect of being a Christian.

The Joshua story shows that Jesus is around us all the time, regardless of where we are in our faith journey.

Freedom and Physics

• Jesus must have a good laugh when He sees us trying to figure out all the scientific mysteries that He has created. 
• The physics class in question did happen exactly as described minus Joshua. 
• Nobody in the class guessed a number anywhere close to the number of estimated number of leaves. 
• Jesus knows the number of grains of sand on a beach; He certainly knows the precise number of leaves on a tree. Just like He knows everything about us. 
• “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” – Luke 12:7 (NIV) 

Hanging Out 

• There was indeed a girl I knew named Ruth Watt who I met in the hospital while I was in high school. 
• She was a preacher's kid and she had a heart for Jesus that I had never met before. 
• She had the relationship aspect figured out even before I began to know He still lives today. 
• Jesus was always with Ruth, just like He is with all of us, but she demonstrated it in all of her actions. 
• “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 12:34 (NIV) 

The Rescue

• Sadly the story of over-drinking is true as well as the results. 
• Joshua came in the form of a female co-worker who showed up later and came to my rescue. 
• She was also a believer and we never spoke about the incident. 
• And yes, my 'friends' were not happy that she came to my rescue. 
• Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) 

Graveyards

• I heard the missionary speak during a youth group meeting. 
• I was truly bored by the evening but surprisingly, it was me that got upset by the graveyard pictures and it was me that confronted the missionary – although without the authority that Joshua did in the story. 
• It was completely out of my nature to speak out the way I did and I truly believe (in retrospect), that I was prompted to speak the truth into the situation. 
• “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” – Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV) 

Relationships

• My difficulty in treating young women with the respect they deserved during my college years is sadly all true. 
• It is hard to explain how Jesus played a part in this one. He was the one asking me in spirit "Is this how you would want to be treated?". 
• It was this prompting that caused me to end a few relationships. 
• This was an area of my life that I struggled with for many more years until I met my wife. 

The Sickness/The Hospital

• These fictional sections were written to honor the sacrifice that was made by Jesus Christ on the Cross. 
• I have always struggled with how the crowds turned so quickly on Jesus. The week before His death, they cheered him into Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the king of Israel!” - John 12:13 (NIV).
• The reasons for why the crowds turned on Jesus are as inexplicable as why students would turn their backs on Joshua and spread the rumors.  Jesus had not done anything other than show acts of compassion and make the controversial declaration that he was the Son of Man.   
• "Hey!  I've seen you on campus with Joshua...".  Jesus predicted His disciple Peter would deny knowing Jesus three times.  One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn't I see you with him in the garden?” Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow. - John 18:26-27 (NIV)
• How many times have I denied knowing Christ? Many times I have not told people I was going to church on Sunday in case they didn't approve or would think less of me. Seeing how easily I cave even today in a 'safe' environment, I understand how the disciple Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. 
• "There was discoloration of his face and arms...". Even while being whipped and nailed to a cross, Jesus did not waiver in His love for the people who were surrounding him. Even the thief on the cross beside Him was promised passage to heaven.

His Death

• Very few people were there when Jesus died.  
• This section of the Joshua story is incomplete as it does not cover the most amazing part of the Jesus story, the fact that He rose from the grave.  
• No other religion has ever claimed this but this was something that was foretold and that Jesus spoke about with His disciples prior to His death.  And He didn't try to stop it.  
• Hundreds of people saw Him after His death, and they were persecuted as a result of it.  
• After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living - 1 Corinthians 15:6 (NIV)

Acknowledgments

This series was an exceptionally long one for me and I'm not sure that I will ever write something this long again.  It seems fitting to acknowledge those that helped to make this happen.

First and foremost, I would like to thank Jesus.  This past year has been an exceptional year of peace even in the midst of storms.  I have learned to recognize and have experienced His unconditional love.  He has also gifted me with writing this past year, something I have always loathed doing.  

Secondly, I would like to thank my editors!  Tanya Peatt, David Bouchard and my wife, Anita.  Tanya is who you can thank for this blog and she will be sharing her amazing story of her testimony on Wandering Thoughts very shortly.  I would never have thought of blogging without her suggestion and encouragement.  David, who recently guest posted (Fields of Grace), jumped in on this project and provided many great suggestions and encouraging words.  And of course, my wonderful wife who not only finds the vast majority of the grammatical errors but also turns my confused ramblings into intelligible thoughts.   

And of course, I would like to thank you.  I have had so many encouraging words sent to me via email, comments on the blogs and responses to the posts on the social media sites.  I read each of them and they definitely help encourage me to continue to be faithful to what I've been called to do.  Thank you for reading and your encouragements!

Many people have asked how I can be so transparent with my experiences.  This may sound corny but it is because of the blood of Jesus that I can be.  He has forgiven me and quite frankly, if He has, I do not need to be ashamed anymore.  I am washed clean.  

If you have read this far, still don't know Jesus the way I've described and want to talk about it, please feel free to contact me here.  I would be happy to show you a little of the unconditional love that has been shown me.  

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

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My Friend Joshua (Part 3)

If you have missed either installment of this series, you will want to read it here (Part 1, Part 2).

The Hospital

I was well into my third year at college and my friend Joshua started looking worse and worse.

He looked to be burdened.  While I still saw him around campus, hanging with different groups of friends, he did not look well. I could see him deteriorating before my eyes and I still had no idea what was making him sick, nor would he admit it.

I only knew what the rumors were saying.  I was no longer laughing at the jokes, but I wasn't stopping them either.

He disappeared from school and I heard that he was in the hospital.  People were now laughing about that!  Obviously other students were exploring their freedoms as I had been, because I don't remember any parent ever suggesting it was okay to laugh about somebody's misfortunes.  Or to suggest that kicking them when they were down was okay. This was really starting to bother me.

I found out which hospital Joshua was at and went one afternoon.  I felt he needed some support but I didn't even know if I would be able to see him.  I asked the front desk which room Joshua was in.

Getting ready to head off to find his room, I recognized a few students from college in the lobby.  I wondered if they were here to see Joshua too.

One of them came up to me and said "Hey!  I've seen you on campus with Joshua.  Are you here to see him?".

Writing what he asked does not explain how he asked it.

I could tell from the question that he wasn't happy about Joshua. He wasn't asking to see if he could join me.  He wasn't a friend of Joshua.

This is when I really started to wonder what Joshua did to receive all of the resentment.

I wish I could go back in time to change what I said, to stand up for somebody who needed to be defended.  But I was still exploring.  I was still figuring out who I was.

I responded, "Oh no!  I'm here to see my grandpa who just came out of surgery.".

The guy wished my grandpa well and we said good-bye. I knew he wouldn't have said the same thing about Joshua.

I found my friend Joshua's room.  I walked in and I could see all of the machines monitoring him, some hooked up to his body. There was discoloration of his face and arms, as if he had been on the receiving end of a violent assault. I could see he was weak.

He was the sickest person I had ever seen.

He looked up and saw me.  His face broke into a big smile and he asked me how I was doing. He was asking about me!  With that same genuine 'nothing else matters in the world' attitude that I knew him so well for.

I immediately thought of how I had been ashamed to admit I was visiting him.  In fact, I had JUST lied about visiting him.

I thought of all those times I laughed at the jokes being flung around at his expense.  I never once stopped the jokes, defended him or stopped the lies from continuing.

And yet he was always there for me, encouraging me to do the right thing when I needed that encouragement or preventing things from getting really ugly at that party where I lost control.

What type of friend was I?!

The emotions hit me like a tidal wave and I couldn't stop them.  I turned my face from him so he couldn't see what I was feeling.

I didn't deserve his smile.  I didn't deserve his friendship. He didn't deserve the sickness that was obviously destroying him.

And then I felt his arms around me and him telling me everything was okay.

His Death

It wasn't long after that visit, that I heard my friend Joshua had passed on.

I wish I could tell you the "feel good story" that he pulled through and walked out of the hospital.

I wish I could tell you that upon news of his death, compassion finally overcame all the students who used to call him friend and that they stepped forward to honor him in his afterlife.

Instead, the jokers at school had more material to work from. I didn't hide my disdain at their jokes and they quickly moved on to other more receptive audiences.

I still didn't have any idea what had killed him.  And I couldn't bring myself to go to his funeral or visit his family, people I had never met.

I had never been to a funeral and I didn't feel worthy to be at Joshua's.

What I didn't know at the time, was that his death wasn't the end of the story. There was so much more to who Joshua was.  It was a random occurrence, that took place roughly 9 years later, which would start to unravel the mystery of Joshua.

It was then that the truth came out.



***** To Be Continued *****


In the conclusion to the Series, we find out what really happened to Joshua and the truth surrounding his death.


Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the final installment.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

My Friend Joshua (Part 2)

If you have missed the first installment of this series, you will want to read it here (Part 1).

Graveyards

As I mentioned earlier, I would often find Joshua with different groups of friends.

I don't remember how or why I ended up there, but at some point, I ended up at a youth event that my friend Joshua was also at.  The speaker for the evening was a missionary from some middle-east location.

At this point in my life, I haven't had much exposure to missionaries and I was quickly getting bored.  The missionary was clicking through pictures, describing what each picture represented and describing how the work he was doing was affecting the people of the region.

The only pictures I remember were of the graveyard.  There were multiple pictures of different headstones and it wasn't the images that impressed me but the reaction it generated when described.

The missionary said, 'These are pictures of Muslim graves.  Thousands and thousands of graves.'.  He paused for effect and then proclaimed 'None of them are going to heaven.'.

There was an immediate reaction to this statement.  It came from Joshua. It was the first (and only) time I saw him upset.  He stood up and said with a strong and clear voice "Who are you to judge the souls of the people in these graves?".

I watched him from across the room. I could see he was visibly upset but seemed satisfied that his point had been made after his outburst. The missionary appeared to realize that he had crossed a line and back-tracked on his statement.

I always wanted to ask Joshua about that confrontation but never got the opportunity.

Relationships

Relationships were also an area of freedom that I began exploring during my college years. Oh how I wish I could erase this part of my memory or change my actions.

About mid-way through college, a two year relationship I had been in, ended from infidelity issues.  I am neither proud of that nor how I handled myself in the months following the breakup.  The end of the relationship sparked a desire to date and be with as many girls as possible, exploring how far and fast the relationship could develop to physical intimacy.

I realized what I was doing was wrong but nothing was stopping me.  I was exploring.

Most of the guys I hung out with were quite proud of my conquests or at least, that is the way I remember it.  Or perhaps, that is the way I want to remember it.

My friend Joshua was different.  He didn't participate in the questioning to find out more details. He didn't join in the juvenile celebrations. But at the same time, he didn't make me feel guilty or tell me I was doing something wrong. I could just tell he didn't approve.

If he did ask questions, it would be more about the dates themselves like "How is Sara's Dad doing after the operation?" or "Is Mary visiting her family soon?"(names changed).  It was curious because the questions challenged me to acknowledge that he knew more about my dates than I did.

It was times like this that he distanced himself from the group.  He would find ways to change the topic and head us down a different conversation.

I believe this started to annoy the other students and eventually generated the fuel for the gossip about him.

One day, he did catch me alone when I was really struggling with what I was doing.  I had done something that even I couldn't boast about or share with the rest of my fan club. He eased into the conversation as if he knew what was already on my mind.

He didn't condemn me.  He simply asked me "Is that how you would want to be treated?".

That marked the start of a change toward the way I approached relationships.

The Sickness

My college days were during the mid-eighties.  It was around this time that the big scare was on for AIDS.  It was a very new and misunderstood disease.  Famous people were hiding the fact they had it and eventually dying from it.  The people suspected of being HIV positive were frequently shunned and avoided.

After my friend Joshua came back from Africa, rumors started to abound.  He wasn't looking good and it was getting steadily worse.  While he never said anything, the gossip mill announced that he was HIV positive and had contracted AIDS.

I tried to stay out of the rumors but whenever he wasn't around, I am ashamed to admit that I would laugh at the jokes that started in good fun and eventually became cruel.

The rumors and fear caused people to start avoiding him.  I saw him less frequently.  When I did see him, he still had that great smile but I started to see sadness in his eyes.

One day, I did get a chance to talk to him alone in the library.  I told him that rumors were flying and that people were saying nasty things.  He just smiled.  I asked why he never said anything bad about other people or defend himself.

He smiled again and said "My Dad always said if you can't say something nice about someone, then don't say anything".

I laughed at that for two reasons.  The first was that I had always heard this expression start with 'My Mom' but for some reason he referred to his father.  The second reason was that I always remembered him saying nice things about people.  Even the ones that were especially nasty to him.


***** To Be Continued *****


In the next issue, Joshua's sickness gets steadily worse leading to a visit in the hospital.

Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the next installment.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

My Friend Joshua (Part 1)

Prologue

Back in my college days, many years ago, I met a guy who I will call Joshua for the purposes of this story.  Joshua is hard to describe.  He was't popular, he wan't unpopular. He could blend into any situation without being in the spotlight or even being noticed.

And yet, something about him was different.  He would make people feel special without making a big fuss and without the personal agenda that so many of us seem to have.  He had the type of personality that was just plain likable.

It is now twenty-five years later and I still struggle to understand how people didn't like him.  And when his sickness developed, they became downright nasty.

I will attempt to tell the story as it involves me but in full disclosure, I have changed a few details as these events took place many years ago, over a 3 year period and to protect the identity of certain people involved.

Freedom and Physics

College was quite the change from high school.  After years of being with a bunch of people I knew in a small school, I was now one of many in a big pond.

The biggest change for me was that there was nobody to make sure I attended a class or did my school work, except myself.  After years of being told when and where to be, I was enjoying this new freedom.  Perhaps a bit too much as my grades would eventually show.

The education program I entered was a science track.  I really had no idea what I wanted to do for a career but enrolled in courses which could lead to an engineering degree.  I was amazed at the wide range of students enrolled in the classes I was attending.  For the most part, people were there to learn and pursue higher education.

I met Joshua in a physics class and we hit it off pretty quickly.  He impressed me with his ability to speak confidently with the professor and at the same time, carry on a conversation with me without making me feel inferior.

Prior to college, I did not like the study of physics.  I had always enjoyed high school chemistry classes better. This changed the day our professor asked a question to challenge our programmed thought processes.

There were some big and beautiful trees just outside the second story classroom that we were seated in.  He went over to the window and asked us to tell him how many leaves were on the tree.  Immediately numbers started flying from the mouths of the keeners in the class.  Most of the numbers were absurd, in the millions or hundreds of thousands.

Our professor diligently wrote all the numbers down on the board.  I looked over at my friend Joshua and he was grinning.  The professor must have noticed it too as he asked Joshua if he had a guess.

"There are 4,736 leaves on that maple tree".

Now truthfully, I don't remember the exact number he said but I do remember that it was a precise number.

The professor added Joshua's number to the list.  He then proceeded to teach an analytic approach of determining the number of leaves on the tree.  A process I've learned to use in many different aspects of my life ever since.

My mind was now experiencing it's own form of freedom, breaking barriers that had been imposed.

Of all the numbers the professor had written on the board, Joshua's number was the only number anywhere remotely close to the estimated number. And in fact, surprisingly close.

Hanging Out

Whenever we weren't in class, students just hung out. It wasn't like high school where we raced out the doors when the bell rang. We had the freedom of time.

There were many options to lounge or relax including the cafeteria, the atrium with the comfy couches, in the library while studying for the next test or outside on a nice day sitting on the grass soaking up the warm sun.

I would see Joshua hanging out with different groups, he never seemed to just stick with one crowd.  My group of friends always seemed to be the same.  If I did see him, he would always have a big smile and ask me how I was doing, genuinely interested in my response.

One day while lounging on the couches, I saw a girl I hadn't seen in years.

I had met her in the hospital a few years earlier.  I was in for an appendix removal and the nurses came to ask me if I knew a Ruth Watt.  Another patient with the same last name?!  I wasn't related to her and did not know her but we ended up talking for quite a long time and got to know each other well.

The day I saw Ruth at college, she was with my friend Joshua. We talked and quickly shared our stories of the past couple of years.  And then I discovered that she was heading to Africa for a couple weeks.  Joshua was also going!

Was there anybody Joshua didn't know?

The Rescue

The freedom that college presented me extended into my personal life.  I started exploring things that make me cringe to think of today, but I was growing up and well, they happened.

One of the freedoms I started exploring was drinking.

For the most part, I was a responsible drinker.  One night I wasn't so responsible.  I was at a party for the staff of a restaurant I worked at.  One of our co-workers was heading to Australia for 6 months. I drank to the point of passing out and do not remember most of the evening or even who was there.

The next morning, I woke up on the floor dressed in work clothes.  More specifically, a uniform for a waitress in the restaurant.  My hair, face and nails were done up as well.

My friends from work had a good laugh over that.  As the fog cleared, I tried to get more details over what happened and what they may have done to me.

With some annoyance, they told me that my friend Joshua had shown up and had stopped them from doing anything too crazy.  They said he took me out for a walk to try and sober me up.

I could tell my friends were not happy with  Joshua.

***** To Be Continued *****

The next issue will reveal a situation when Joshua gets upset, detail some troubling relationship situations and we will see glimpses of Joshua's sickness. 

Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the next installment.

Part 2 is now available here.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

The Biker Lunch

Every lunch is an adventure.  I am always on the hunt.  Tracking what will eventually satisfy my desire for the day.  While it must be tasty, have been at one point breathing and also substantial enough to fill my rather large stomach, there is one requirement that can not be overlooked.

Confession # 1: I am cheap

Ah, that felt good to finally get off my chest.  So with that major requirement in mind, my daily hunt often takes me to Costco where I can find a big hot dog and unlimited drink for $1.58 (including tax).  It may not be the healthiest of meals but I do feel satisfied with my hunting experience.

The other day, my hunt brought me around to Costco.  I am sometimes concerned that there is over-hunting in this area as I encounter so many other hunters on their daily forage.  This day, the crowd was especially large.  After claiming my prize, I was required to jostle with others at the watering station and the dressing table.

It was no surprise that finding a place to sit was a challenge.  It often happens at Costco that I must share a resting spot with other hunters.  I surveyed the terrain and discovered only one available spot to share.

Confession # 2: I judge people by their looks

That confession hurt a little bit to admit.

The only spot available was with a biker dude.  Now remember, we are in February and we've got a few feet of snow on the ground but there was no mistaking what this guy liked to do.  With his long flowing mustache, skull cap, leather vest and matching finger rings and ear ring in the shapes of HD. He also had the scowl to go along with the Harley persona he was presenting.

But it was the only available spot and I had claimed my prize for the day, I must feast.  So I went forward to ask if I may join the biker. He looked at me as if I may be risking my life and grunted something that I took as "Go ahead" but could have easily been "If I dare".

I gladly took the seat and focused on completing my hunting experience by enjoying the spoils.

Normally at the end of my meal, I pull out my phone and start checking the various social networks that I belong to but something told me not to.

Instead, I asked the biker "Are you excited about riding soon?".

He looked up from his prize and all of a sudden, there was a transformation.  His eyes sparkled and he said he couldn't wait!

Small talk led to learning a lot about this biker: he bought his first Harley 12 years ago; he normally starts riding sometime in March; he is looking forward to riding with his son and plans to give his bike to him; the bike is completely paid for; he goes on multiple trips a year to various bike shows; he has a big trip planned with 30 other bikers where they ship their bikes to Nevada and spend 15 days touring; and he is retired.

A really nice guy that I had mistakenly judged prior to knowing ANYTHING about him.

Why do I judge people by what they look like on the outside and not by what they look like on the inside?  Do I want to be judged like that?  

It was time for me to head back to work.  I wished my biker friend a good trip to Nevada and a good day.

And then I saw another transformation.  He went back to being the gruff, sour looking biker but now I knew better.  And I noticed another thing.  For all the rings on his fingers, he did not have one on his wedding finger.  There was much more to his story than I knew or could tell by looking at him.

Isn't that the truth about everyone?

Do you avoid conversations with people because of what they look like?

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.

Ripples

One of the benefits of being an early riser is grabbing a hot tea, my book and heading down to the dock on a beautiful morning at the cottage.  Often, I will never crack open the book as I bask in the beauty of the sun while watching the mist rise off the lake.

If I am quiet enough and lucky, I am also treated to ducks, loons, otters and the occasional beaver swimming by the end of the dock, completely oblivious to the foreigner in their midst.  The serenity of the lake is broken only by the ripples that are generated by the path they are taking or the occasional fish surface.

On a calm morning lake, their small ripples can be seen crossing the lake.

Thinking of that reminds me of the lyrics from 'Ripples' from the band Genesis:

Sail away, away

Ripples never come back.

Gone to the other side.

Sail away, away.

In our life, our actions generate ripples all around us that we are unaware of.  The effects of those ripples are felt by those within your circle of influence.  And sometimes, the ripples go farther, to effect people you've never met.  

Once the ripple is released, it can't be stopped and it can't be taken back.  It is 'gone to the other side'.

Every so often you will hear about someone who has led a life releasing ripples that has affected many souls.  

Last summer, just after I shared my testimony (From The Inside Out), my friend's father passed away.  Bob's father had impacted many people around him and it quickly became obvious that while the family wanted a small gathering to celebrate his life, they needed to accommodate the hundreds of others that his father's life (ripples) had touched.

His father was born into a farming community at the start of the Great Depression and even as a child, his family grew extra food on the farm to give away to people who needed it.  Over the years, his ripples reached out to other farmers, associations, colleges and politicians.  The resulting memorial service included over 800 people and many others who stood or could not make their way into the church.  

For the private family graveside service, Bob used the glass illustration described during my testimony.  He talked about how his father had always been a glass that had allowed God's love to pour through him and into those around him.  And that this was a generational blessing to each of his children, to live by his example and to allow God's love to flow through them.  

Yesterday, Bob said his mother wanted to thank me.  February 14th had been a tough day for her as it was the first time she had been without her husband on that special day.  She started to despair  and then remembered the example of the generational blessing her son had described at the graveside.  She pulled out some of the cards and notes that her husband had given her over the years and re-experienced some of the ripples of his love.  

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to see the effects of the ripples we have caused.  

What sort of ripples are you making?  Have you ever been fortunate enough to see the effects?

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.

February 28th

The events of February 28th will be forever etched in my mind.  

It is a date that is as easy to remember as my birthday or my wedding anniversary.  Much like certain smells or songs transport me back to a specific time and place, just hearing the date, February 28th, brings back powerful emotions.

In 2000, my wife, Anita, and I began fertility treatments to kick-start our family.  It had been discovered after a couple of years of trying, that I had some lazy swimmers that could not penetrate the walls of the eggs being produced.  The treatments were extremely hard on Anita but on the second attempt (November), we found out that we were successful.

Most couples enjoy their pregnancy but we were ecstatic!  We were taking pictures, we were looking at everything we had to do to prepare for the arrival, telling everybody who had been following our infertility journey and of course, thanking God for this miracle.

We had the added difficulty of planning a 5000 km (3000 miles) trip from Vancouver, British Columbia to Ottawa, Ontario that would take place about 1 month after the arrival of our bundle of joy.  This so we could be closer to some of my wife's family and to start a new role within my company.  This required that we put our house up for sale in January of 2001.

The pregnancy was going great.  The ultrasound displayed a quickly growing baby and we heard the insanely quick heartbeat.  Anita started changing her wardrobe and enjoyed eating for two.

In February, we started to hit some complications.  She started bleeding every so often.  This concerned us and generated a middle of the night trip to the emergency room, but we were told that everything was fine.  Our doctor wasn't greatly concerned but she told Anita to stay home on bed rest at the end of February.

February 28th, 2001. We lost our miracle child.

To say the experience was tough would be a perverse understatement.  The next few days morphed into months.  While I started to rebound, the loss was much harder on Anita.  We couldn't visit or be around anyone pregnant or with babies.  Some of our well-meaning friends thought it would be a good idea for her to hold their child - they just didn't get the depth of the pain we had experienced.

And over the next year, God healed us and turned our day of mourning into a day of celebration.

What was very hard to see at the time was God's involvement in the whole process.  While we lost our miracle child and we will never know why in this lifetime, He took care of details that could only be what I call 'Confirming Circumstances'.  Confirming Circumstances are a series of events that individually might be considered a coincidence, but together are so much more.

This story is very hard to tell, let alone write.  It is long and it is emotional.  I apologize if you are a first time reader but this will be a very "to the point" synopsis of the events that took place over the year.  

The Earthquake

At 10:50 am February 28th, 2001, Vancouver experienced the first noticeable earthquake that I could remember.  I was sitting in a downtown office watching the window blinds start to sway and clash against the windows.  We all exited the building without issue and were allowed back in shortly thereafter.  There were no structural damage reports for the city but phone lines were not functioning.

After about an hour of trying to call Anita, I jumped into the car and headed the 40 minutes home to make sure she was okay.  Shortly after I arrived home, her water broke.

Availability

The phones were now working.  We called our doctor who was near our old home 45 minutes away.  She told us to get to the hospital near her office and she would meet us there.  How many doctors drop their schedules to do that?  She by-passed the wait lines and we were seeing a specialist right away.

While we were at the hospital, I called a few friends for support.  They weren't answering their phone.  I finally called a good pastor friend without hope as he never answered his phone.  He answered on the first ring and was at the hospital with his wife within a few minutes.

Comfort

The doctors suggested that we stay close to the hospital as there would be some procedures that needed to be performed.  Our friends cleared their schedule and hosted us for the next few days until we were well enough to go home again.

The Retreat

Over the next couple of months, we sank into a depression.

The doctors had done their analysis of what had happened and determined that a simple aspirin every day would have thinned the blood enough to prevent the miscarriage.  After having been told that we did not want to know the sex of the baby, it came out that it was a girl.  We started envisioning what could have been.

Our home wasn't getting any viewings to be sold.  We started to question why we were moving.  And of course, we were wondering why God would bless us with a child to then take the child away.

Our close friends from church were all moving in separate directions literally and figuratively.  The ladies agreed to attend a last retreat in April as a group.

A Message

During that weekend, Anita got a message from God.  Our friend Tanya told her during a special time alone, that she had a message from God.  She didn't understand why it was important but she knew she had to say it.

The message was simply "God loves you. He wants you to know how much He loves you".

Anita started crying which quickly turned into sobs.

She had translated the loss of our child into 'God doesn't love me'.  How did Tanya know this?  Anita hadn't told anyone, including me.  She was carrying this burden with her which was dragging her deeper into depression.

Some time passed between Anita and Tanya of praying and praising God.  Then Anita told Tanya about our concerns about moving and the difficulty of selling our home.

Tanya emphatically said, "NO, you have to go to Ottawa! That is where your children are".  (Notice the plural?)

Anita got home from the retreat on Sunday a different person.  While not completely healed, the recovery had begun.

Later that evening we had a call from the real estate agent.  We had two offers on the house.  We sold the house the next day.

The Move

The next number of months was dedicated to getting ready to move and saying good-bye to our many friends. Talking about the next steps for our family was avoided.  We enjoyed a long drive across the country visiting friends and different places, all the while still healing.

The Session

In late September 2001, we heard about an adoption information session.  At this point, neither of us had ever considered adoption as an option.  We attended the session and then proceeded to fill out the paperwork to start the home study.

In late January 2002, we were given approval to be adoptive parents.  On February 14th, we were told we were matched with 2 little boys!

The Meeting

The anticipation to meet the boys was unbelievable but before we could meet the boys, we had to learn about their social history with the various social workers involved.  And then we were encouraged to have a 'blind meeting' where we could see the boys in a public place without them knowing we were there.  As we were getting ready to go to that, Anita slipped on some ice and we ended up at the hospital.

A few more days of bed rest, oddly exactly one year later.

Soon, Anita recovered and after much discussion and praying, we decided that we didn't need a blind viewing.  They were a gift from God!

We told the social workers that we wanted to go ahead, start the process and set the appointment for the first meeting.

Even as I write this, the emotions that we were experiencing as we waited in the van just outside their foster home, are running through me; shaking with excitement and nervousness, tears running down my face.

Will they like us?  How do we introduce ourselves?  What do we say?

As we are waiting in the van, two little faces peep through the window and we hear screams of "It's our new Mommy and Daddy!".

February 28th, 2002.  God introduces us to our two little boys.  

Tonight we are going out to celebrate as we do every year, the miracle of our family.

It isn't your normal family but it is our family and I wouldn't change a thing.  Like every family, we have had our challenges and continue to have them.  

But for tonight, we will enjoy a nice dinner with both of our sons reminiscing the past 11 years.

How do you celebrate the miracle of your family?

Our First Meeting

February 28th, 2002

February 28th, 2013
Not the best picture but all together at least!

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.