February 28th

The events of February 28th will be forever etched in my mind.  

It is a date that is as easy to remember as my birthday or my wedding anniversary.  Much like certain smells or songs transport me back to a specific time and place, just hearing the date, February 28th, brings back powerful emotions.

In 2000, my wife, Anita, and I began fertility treatments to kick-start our family.  It had been discovered after a couple of years of trying, that I had some lazy swimmers that could not penetrate the walls of the eggs being produced.  The treatments were extremely hard on Anita but on the second attempt (November), we found out that we were successful.

Most couples enjoy their pregnancy but we were ecstatic!  We were taking pictures, we were looking at everything we had to do to prepare for the arrival, telling everybody who had been following our infertility journey and of course, thanking God for this miracle.

We had the added difficulty of planning a 5000 km (3000 miles) trip from Vancouver, British Columbia to Ottawa, Ontario that would take place about 1 month after the arrival of our bundle of joy.  This so we could be closer to some of my wife's family and to start a new role within my company.  This required that we put our house up for sale in January of 2001.

The pregnancy was going great.  The ultrasound displayed a quickly growing baby and we heard the insanely quick heartbeat.  Anita started changing her wardrobe and enjoyed eating for two.

In February, we started to hit some complications.  She started bleeding every so often.  This concerned us and generated a middle of the night trip to the emergency room, but we were told that everything was fine.  Our doctor wasn't greatly concerned but she told Anita to stay home on bed rest at the end of February.

February 28th, 2001. We lost our miracle child.

To say the experience was tough would be a perverse understatement.  The next few days morphed into months.  While I started to rebound, the loss was much harder on Anita.  We couldn't visit or be around anyone pregnant or with babies.  Some of our well-meaning friends thought it would be a good idea for her to hold their child - they just didn't get the depth of the pain we had experienced.

And over the next year, God healed us and turned our day of mourning into a day of celebration.

What was very hard to see at the time was God's involvement in the whole process.  While we lost our miracle child and we will never know why in this lifetime, He took care of details that could only be what I call 'Confirming Circumstances'.  Confirming Circumstances are a series of events that individually might be considered a coincidence, but together are so much more.

This story is very hard to tell, let alone write.  It is long and it is emotional.  I apologize if you are a first time reader but this will be a very "to the point" synopsis of the events that took place over the year.  

The Earthquake

At 10:50 am February 28th, 2001, Vancouver experienced the first noticeable earthquake that I could remember.  I was sitting in a downtown office watching the window blinds start to sway and clash against the windows.  We all exited the building without issue and were allowed back in shortly thereafter.  There were no structural damage reports for the city but phone lines were not functioning.

After about an hour of trying to call Anita, I jumped into the car and headed the 40 minutes home to make sure she was okay.  Shortly after I arrived home, her water broke.

Availability

The phones were now working.  We called our doctor who was near our old home 45 minutes away.  She told us to get to the hospital near her office and she would meet us there.  How many doctors drop their schedules to do that?  She by-passed the wait lines and we were seeing a specialist right away.

While we were at the hospital, I called a few friends for support.  They weren't answering their phone.  I finally called a good pastor friend without hope as he never answered his phone.  He answered on the first ring and was at the hospital with his wife within a few minutes.

Comfort

The doctors suggested that we stay close to the hospital as there would be some procedures that needed to be performed.  Our friends cleared their schedule and hosted us for the next few days until we were well enough to go home again.

The Retreat

Over the next couple of months, we sank into a depression.

The doctors had done their analysis of what had happened and determined that a simple aspirin every day would have thinned the blood enough to prevent the miscarriage.  After having been told that we did not want to know the sex of the baby, it came out that it was a girl.  We started envisioning what could have been.

Our home wasn't getting any viewings to be sold.  We started to question why we were moving.  And of course, we were wondering why God would bless us with a child to then take the child away.

Our close friends from church were all moving in separate directions literally and figuratively.  The ladies agreed to attend a last retreat in April as a group.

A Message

During that weekend, Anita got a message from God.  Our friend Tanya told her during a special time alone, that she had a message from God.  She didn't understand why it was important but she knew she had to say it.

The message was simply "God loves you. He wants you to know how much He loves you".

Anita started crying which quickly turned into sobs.

She had translated the loss of our child into 'God doesn't love me'.  How did Tanya know this?  Anita hadn't told anyone, including me.  She was carrying this burden with her which was dragging her deeper into depression.

Some time passed between Anita and Tanya of praying and praising God.  Then Anita told Tanya about our concerns about moving and the difficulty of selling our home.

Tanya emphatically said, "NO, you have to go to Ottawa! That is where your children are".  (Notice the plural?)

Anita got home from the retreat on Sunday a different person.  While not completely healed, the recovery had begun.

Later that evening we had a call from the real estate agent.  We had two offers on the house.  We sold the house the next day.

The Move

The next number of months was dedicated to getting ready to move and saying good-bye to our many friends. Talking about the next steps for our family was avoided.  We enjoyed a long drive across the country visiting friends and different places, all the while still healing.

The Session

In late September 2001, we heard about an adoption information session.  At this point, neither of us had ever considered adoption as an option.  We attended the session and then proceeded to fill out the paperwork to start the home study.

In late January 2002, we were given approval to be adoptive parents.  On February 14th, we were told we were matched with 2 little boys!

The Meeting

The anticipation to meet the boys was unbelievable but before we could meet the boys, we had to learn about their social history with the various social workers involved.  And then we were encouraged to have a 'blind meeting' where we could see the boys in a public place without them knowing we were there.  As we were getting ready to go to that, Anita slipped on some ice and we ended up at the hospital.

A few more days of bed rest, oddly exactly one year later.

Soon, Anita recovered and after much discussion and praying, we decided that we didn't need a blind viewing.  They were a gift from God!

We told the social workers that we wanted to go ahead, start the process and set the appointment for the first meeting.

Even as I write this, the emotions that we were experiencing as we waited in the van just outside their foster home, are running through me; shaking with excitement and nervousness, tears running down my face.

Will they like us?  How do we introduce ourselves?  What do we say?

As we are waiting in the van, two little faces peep through the window and we hear screams of "It's our new Mommy and Daddy!".

February 28th, 2002.  God introduces us to our two little boys.  

Tonight we are going out to celebrate as we do every year, the miracle of our family.

It isn't your normal family but it is our family and I wouldn't change a thing.  Like every family, we have had our challenges and continue to have them.  

But for tonight, we will enjoy a nice dinner with both of our sons reminiscing the past 11 years.

How do you celebrate the miracle of your family?

Our First Meeting

February 28th, 2002

February 28th, 2013
Not the best picture but all together at least!

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

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Have a wonderful day.