My Friend Joshua (Part 3)

If you have missed either installment of this series, you will want to read it here (Part 1, Part 2).

The Hospital

I was well into my third year at college and my friend Joshua started looking worse and worse.

He looked to be burdened.  While I still saw him around campus, hanging with different groups of friends, he did not look well. I could see him deteriorating before my eyes and I still had no idea what was making him sick, nor would he admit it.

I only knew what the rumors were saying.  I was no longer laughing at the jokes, but I wasn't stopping them either.

He disappeared from school and I heard that he was in the hospital.  People were now laughing about that!  Obviously other students were exploring their freedoms as I had been, because I don't remember any parent ever suggesting it was okay to laugh about somebody's misfortunes.  Or to suggest that kicking them when they were down was okay. This was really starting to bother me.

I found out which hospital Joshua was at and went one afternoon.  I felt he needed some support but I didn't even know if I would be able to see him.  I asked the front desk which room Joshua was in.

Getting ready to head off to find his room, I recognized a few students from college in the lobby.  I wondered if they were here to see Joshua too.

One of them came up to me and said "Hey!  I've seen you on campus with Joshua.  Are you here to see him?".

Writing what he asked does not explain how he asked it.

I could tell from the question that he wasn't happy about Joshua. He wasn't asking to see if he could join me.  He wasn't a friend of Joshua.

This is when I really started to wonder what Joshua did to receive all of the resentment.

I wish I could go back in time to change what I said, to stand up for somebody who needed to be defended.  But I was still exploring.  I was still figuring out who I was.

I responded, "Oh no!  I'm here to see my grandpa who just came out of surgery.".

The guy wished my grandpa well and we said good-bye. I knew he wouldn't have said the same thing about Joshua.

I found my friend Joshua's room.  I walked in and I could see all of the machines monitoring him, some hooked up to his body. There was discoloration of his face and arms, as if he had been on the receiving end of a violent assault. I could see he was weak.

He was the sickest person I had ever seen.

He looked up and saw me.  His face broke into a big smile and he asked me how I was doing. He was asking about me!  With that same genuine 'nothing else matters in the world' attitude that I knew him so well for.

I immediately thought of how I had been ashamed to admit I was visiting him.  In fact, I had JUST lied about visiting him.

I thought of all those times I laughed at the jokes being flung around at his expense.  I never once stopped the jokes, defended him or stopped the lies from continuing.

And yet he was always there for me, encouraging me to do the right thing when I needed that encouragement or preventing things from getting really ugly at that party where I lost control.

What type of friend was I?!

The emotions hit me like a tidal wave and I couldn't stop them.  I turned my face from him so he couldn't see what I was feeling.

I didn't deserve his smile.  I didn't deserve his friendship. He didn't deserve the sickness that was obviously destroying him.

And then I felt his arms around me and him telling me everything was okay.

His Death

It wasn't long after that visit, that I heard my friend Joshua had passed on.

I wish I could tell you the "feel good story" that he pulled through and walked out of the hospital.

I wish I could tell you that upon news of his death, compassion finally overcame all the students who used to call him friend and that they stepped forward to honor him in his afterlife.

Instead, the jokers at school had more material to work from. I didn't hide my disdain at their jokes and they quickly moved on to other more receptive audiences.

I still didn't have any idea what had killed him.  And I couldn't bring myself to go to his funeral or visit his family, people I had never met.

I had never been to a funeral and I didn't feel worthy to be at Joshua's.

What I didn't know at the time, was that his death wasn't the end of the story. There was so much more to who Joshua was.  It was a random occurrence, that took place roughly 9 years later, which would start to unravel the mystery of Joshua.

It was then that the truth came out.



***** To Be Continued *****


In the conclusion to the Series, we find out what really happened to Joshua and the truth surrounding his death.


Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the final installment.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

My Friend Joshua (Part 2)

If you have missed the first installment of this series, you will want to read it here (Part 1).

Graveyards

As I mentioned earlier, I would often find Joshua with different groups of friends.

I don't remember how or why I ended up there, but at some point, I ended up at a youth event that my friend Joshua was also at.  The speaker for the evening was a missionary from some middle-east location.

At this point in my life, I haven't had much exposure to missionaries and I was quickly getting bored.  The missionary was clicking through pictures, describing what each picture represented and describing how the work he was doing was affecting the people of the region.

The only pictures I remember were of the graveyard.  There were multiple pictures of different headstones and it wasn't the images that impressed me but the reaction it generated when described.

The missionary said, 'These are pictures of Muslim graves.  Thousands and thousands of graves.'.  He paused for effect and then proclaimed 'None of them are going to heaven.'.

There was an immediate reaction to this statement.  It came from Joshua. It was the first (and only) time I saw him upset.  He stood up and said with a strong and clear voice "Who are you to judge the souls of the people in these graves?".

I watched him from across the room. I could see he was visibly upset but seemed satisfied that his point had been made after his outburst. The missionary appeared to realize that he had crossed a line and back-tracked on his statement.

I always wanted to ask Joshua about that confrontation but never got the opportunity.

Relationships

Relationships were also an area of freedom that I began exploring during my college years. Oh how I wish I could erase this part of my memory or change my actions.

About mid-way through college, a two year relationship I had been in, ended from infidelity issues.  I am neither proud of that nor how I handled myself in the months following the breakup.  The end of the relationship sparked a desire to date and be with as many girls as possible, exploring how far and fast the relationship could develop to physical intimacy.

I realized what I was doing was wrong but nothing was stopping me.  I was exploring.

Most of the guys I hung out with were quite proud of my conquests or at least, that is the way I remember it.  Or perhaps, that is the way I want to remember it.

My friend Joshua was different.  He didn't participate in the questioning to find out more details. He didn't join in the juvenile celebrations. But at the same time, he didn't make me feel guilty or tell me I was doing something wrong. I could just tell he didn't approve.

If he did ask questions, it would be more about the dates themselves like "How is Sara's Dad doing after the operation?" or "Is Mary visiting her family soon?"(names changed).  It was curious because the questions challenged me to acknowledge that he knew more about my dates than I did.

It was times like this that he distanced himself from the group.  He would find ways to change the topic and head us down a different conversation.

I believe this started to annoy the other students and eventually generated the fuel for the gossip about him.

One day, he did catch me alone when I was really struggling with what I was doing.  I had done something that even I couldn't boast about or share with the rest of my fan club. He eased into the conversation as if he knew what was already on my mind.

He didn't condemn me.  He simply asked me "Is that how you would want to be treated?".

That marked the start of a change toward the way I approached relationships.

The Sickness

My college days were during the mid-eighties.  It was around this time that the big scare was on for AIDS.  It was a very new and misunderstood disease.  Famous people were hiding the fact they had it and eventually dying from it.  The people suspected of being HIV positive were frequently shunned and avoided.

After my friend Joshua came back from Africa, rumors started to abound.  He wasn't looking good and it was getting steadily worse.  While he never said anything, the gossip mill announced that he was HIV positive and had contracted AIDS.

I tried to stay out of the rumors but whenever he wasn't around, I am ashamed to admit that I would laugh at the jokes that started in good fun and eventually became cruel.

The rumors and fear caused people to start avoiding him.  I saw him less frequently.  When I did see him, he still had that great smile but I started to see sadness in his eyes.

One day, I did get a chance to talk to him alone in the library.  I told him that rumors were flying and that people were saying nasty things.  He just smiled.  I asked why he never said anything bad about other people or defend himself.

He smiled again and said "My Dad always said if you can't say something nice about someone, then don't say anything".

I laughed at that for two reasons.  The first was that I had always heard this expression start with 'My Mom' but for some reason he referred to his father.  The second reason was that I always remembered him saying nice things about people.  Even the ones that were especially nasty to him.


***** To Be Continued *****


In the next issue, Joshua's sickness gets steadily worse leading to a visit in the hospital.

Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the next installment.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

My Friend Joshua (Part 1)

Prologue

Back in my college days, many years ago, I met a guy who I will call Joshua for the purposes of this story.  Joshua is hard to describe.  He was't popular, he wan't unpopular. He could blend into any situation without being in the spotlight or even being noticed.

And yet, something about him was different.  He would make people feel special without making a big fuss and without the personal agenda that so many of us seem to have.  He had the type of personality that was just plain likable.

It is now twenty-five years later and I still struggle to understand how people didn't like him.  And when his sickness developed, they became downright nasty.

I will attempt to tell the story as it involves me but in full disclosure, I have changed a few details as these events took place many years ago, over a 3 year period and to protect the identity of certain people involved.

Freedom and Physics

College was quite the change from high school.  After years of being with a bunch of people I knew in a small school, I was now one of many in a big pond.

The biggest change for me was that there was nobody to make sure I attended a class or did my school work, except myself.  After years of being told when and where to be, I was enjoying this new freedom.  Perhaps a bit too much as my grades would eventually show.

The education program I entered was a science track.  I really had no idea what I wanted to do for a career but enrolled in courses which could lead to an engineering degree.  I was amazed at the wide range of students enrolled in the classes I was attending.  For the most part, people were there to learn and pursue higher education.

I met Joshua in a physics class and we hit it off pretty quickly.  He impressed me with his ability to speak confidently with the professor and at the same time, carry on a conversation with me without making me feel inferior.

Prior to college, I did not like the study of physics.  I had always enjoyed high school chemistry classes better. This changed the day our professor asked a question to challenge our programmed thought processes.

There were some big and beautiful trees just outside the second story classroom that we were seated in.  He went over to the window and asked us to tell him how many leaves were on the tree.  Immediately numbers started flying from the mouths of the keeners in the class.  Most of the numbers were absurd, in the millions or hundreds of thousands.

Our professor diligently wrote all the numbers down on the board.  I looked over at my friend Joshua and he was grinning.  The professor must have noticed it too as he asked Joshua if he had a guess.

"There are 4,736 leaves on that maple tree".

Now truthfully, I don't remember the exact number he said but I do remember that it was a precise number.

The professor added Joshua's number to the list.  He then proceeded to teach an analytic approach of determining the number of leaves on the tree.  A process I've learned to use in many different aspects of my life ever since.

My mind was now experiencing it's own form of freedom, breaking barriers that had been imposed.

Of all the numbers the professor had written on the board, Joshua's number was the only number anywhere remotely close to the estimated number. And in fact, surprisingly close.

Hanging Out

Whenever we weren't in class, students just hung out. It wasn't like high school where we raced out the doors when the bell rang. We had the freedom of time.

There were many options to lounge or relax including the cafeteria, the atrium with the comfy couches, in the library while studying for the next test or outside on a nice day sitting on the grass soaking up the warm sun.

I would see Joshua hanging out with different groups, he never seemed to just stick with one crowd.  My group of friends always seemed to be the same.  If I did see him, he would always have a big smile and ask me how I was doing, genuinely interested in my response.

One day while lounging on the couches, I saw a girl I hadn't seen in years.

I had met her in the hospital a few years earlier.  I was in for an appendix removal and the nurses came to ask me if I knew a Ruth Watt.  Another patient with the same last name?!  I wasn't related to her and did not know her but we ended up talking for quite a long time and got to know each other well.

The day I saw Ruth at college, she was with my friend Joshua. We talked and quickly shared our stories of the past couple of years.  And then I discovered that she was heading to Africa for a couple weeks.  Joshua was also going!

Was there anybody Joshua didn't know?

The Rescue

The freedom that college presented me extended into my personal life.  I started exploring things that make me cringe to think of today, but I was growing up and well, they happened.

One of the freedoms I started exploring was drinking.

For the most part, I was a responsible drinker.  One night I wasn't so responsible.  I was at a party for the staff of a restaurant I worked at.  One of our co-workers was heading to Australia for 6 months. I drank to the point of passing out and do not remember most of the evening or even who was there.

The next morning, I woke up on the floor dressed in work clothes.  More specifically, a uniform for a waitress in the restaurant.  My hair, face and nails were done up as well.

My friends from work had a good laugh over that.  As the fog cleared, I tried to get more details over what happened and what they may have done to me.

With some annoyance, they told me that my friend Joshua had shown up and had stopped them from doing anything too crazy.  They said he took me out for a walk to try and sober me up.

I could tell my friends were not happy with  Joshua.

***** To Be Continued *****

The next issue will reveal a situation when Joshua gets upset, detail some troubling relationship situations and we will see glimpses of Joshua's sickness. 

Make sure to sign up for email updates (here) if you don't want to miss the next installment.

Part 2 is now available here.

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought or sharing it with a friend.

Have a wonderful day.

The Biker Lunch

Every lunch is an adventure.  I am always on the hunt.  Tracking what will eventually satisfy my desire for the day.  While it must be tasty, have been at one point breathing and also substantial enough to fill my rather large stomach, there is one requirement that can not be overlooked.

Confession # 1: I am cheap

Ah, that felt good to finally get off my chest.  So with that major requirement in mind, my daily hunt often takes me to Costco where I can find a big hot dog and unlimited drink for $1.58 (including tax).  It may not be the healthiest of meals but I do feel satisfied with my hunting experience.

The other day, my hunt brought me around to Costco.  I am sometimes concerned that there is over-hunting in this area as I encounter so many other hunters on their daily forage.  This day, the crowd was especially large.  After claiming my prize, I was required to jostle with others at the watering station and the dressing table.

It was no surprise that finding a place to sit was a challenge.  It often happens at Costco that I must share a resting spot with other hunters.  I surveyed the terrain and discovered only one available spot to share.

Confession # 2: I judge people by their looks

That confession hurt a little bit to admit.

The only spot available was with a biker dude.  Now remember, we are in February and we've got a few feet of snow on the ground but there was no mistaking what this guy liked to do.  With his long flowing mustache, skull cap, leather vest and matching finger rings and ear ring in the shapes of HD. He also had the scowl to go along with the Harley persona he was presenting.

But it was the only available spot and I had claimed my prize for the day, I must feast.  So I went forward to ask if I may join the biker. He looked at me as if I may be risking my life and grunted something that I took as "Go ahead" but could have easily been "If I dare".

I gladly took the seat and focused on completing my hunting experience by enjoying the spoils.

Normally at the end of my meal, I pull out my phone and start checking the various social networks that I belong to but something told me not to.

Instead, I asked the biker "Are you excited about riding soon?".

He looked up from his prize and all of a sudden, there was a transformation.  His eyes sparkled and he said he couldn't wait!

Small talk led to learning a lot about this biker: he bought his first Harley 12 years ago; he normally starts riding sometime in March; he is looking forward to riding with his son and plans to give his bike to him; the bike is completely paid for; he goes on multiple trips a year to various bike shows; he has a big trip planned with 30 other bikers where they ship their bikes to Nevada and spend 15 days touring; and he is retired.

A really nice guy that I had mistakenly judged prior to knowing ANYTHING about him.

Why do I judge people by what they look like on the outside and not by what they look like on the inside?  Do I want to be judged like that?  

It was time for me to head back to work.  I wished my biker friend a good trip to Nevada and a good day.

And then I saw another transformation.  He went back to being the gruff, sour looking biker but now I knew better.  And I noticed another thing.  For all the rings on his fingers, he did not have one on his wedding finger.  There was much more to his story than I knew or could tell by looking at him.

Isn't that the truth about everyone?

Do you avoid conversations with people because of what they look like?

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.

Ripples

One of the benefits of being an early riser is grabbing a hot tea, my book and heading down to the dock on a beautiful morning at the cottage.  Often, I will never crack open the book as I bask in the beauty of the sun while watching the mist rise off the lake.

If I am quiet enough and lucky, I am also treated to ducks, loons, otters and the occasional beaver swimming by the end of the dock, completely oblivious to the foreigner in their midst.  The serenity of the lake is broken only by the ripples that are generated by the path they are taking or the occasional fish surface.

On a calm morning lake, their small ripples can be seen crossing the lake.

Thinking of that reminds me of the lyrics from 'Ripples' from the band Genesis:

Sail away, away

Ripples never come back.

Gone to the other side.

Sail away, away.

In our life, our actions generate ripples all around us that we are unaware of.  The effects of those ripples are felt by those within your circle of influence.  And sometimes, the ripples go farther, to effect people you've never met.  

Once the ripple is released, it can't be stopped and it can't be taken back.  It is 'gone to the other side'.

Every so often you will hear about someone who has led a life releasing ripples that has affected many souls.  

Last summer, just after I shared my testimony (From The Inside Out), my friend's father passed away.  Bob's father had impacted many people around him and it quickly became obvious that while the family wanted a small gathering to celebrate his life, they needed to accommodate the hundreds of others that his father's life (ripples) had touched.

His father was born into a farming community at the start of the Great Depression and even as a child, his family grew extra food on the farm to give away to people who needed it.  Over the years, his ripples reached out to other farmers, associations, colleges and politicians.  The resulting memorial service included over 800 people and many others who stood or could not make their way into the church.  

For the private family graveside service, Bob used the glass illustration described during my testimony.  He talked about how his father had always been a glass that had allowed God's love to pour through him and into those around him.  And that this was a generational blessing to each of his children, to live by his example and to allow God's love to flow through them.  

Yesterday, Bob said his mother wanted to thank me.  February 14th had been a tough day for her as it was the first time she had been without her husband on that special day.  She started to despair  and then remembered the example of the generational blessing her son had described at the graveside.  She pulled out some of the cards and notes that her husband had given her over the years and re-experienced some of the ripples of his love.  

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to see the effects of the ripples we have caused.  

What sort of ripples are you making?  Have you ever been fortunate enough to see the effects?

__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+, Facebook or by emailing me.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.