Just One Stranger (Guest Post)

Ryan Bitters is a fellow blogger who I have learned so much from. He is a husband and stay-at-home father of three boys. He also spends time creating a devotional, writing poems and sharing some of his personal stories at Stronger in Faith. This is a story he shared in response to my Confirming Circumstances post. Enjoy! 

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Just One Stranger by Ryan Bitters

After reading just a few lines of Peter Watt's post on Confirming Circumstances, I found myself thinking of one situation in particular in my life that I would consider to be confirming.

Now my circumstance is confirming in a slightly different way as it didn't confirm a direct path or an answer to a situation, but rather confirmed the miraculous hand of God in my life.

My wife, kids, sister and her husband, as well as some friends and myself went to a concert called Winterjam in January of last year (2012). We were having a wonderful time singing praises to the Lord and enjoying some great Christian music.

During the concert there was a woman that sat on the other side of our group, beside my oldest son. She had said a few words to him throughout the concert, but for the most part kept to herself. However, during one intermission this would all change.

This kind and polite lady needed to get out of our row and use the restroom. We all stood up and let her through and sat back down. She was gone for quite sometime and we had just assumed she had left.

About 45 minutes later, during another intermission, she returned. I felt the need to say something, so I muttered, "glad to see you back, we thought you had left."

This started what would become a fairly lengthy conversation and one that I will never forget.

Throughout all the words we spoke back and forth to each other I could feel the hand of God moving between us, confirming his awesomeness, power and grace.

This woman who we took for no more than a polite stranger was actually a childhood friend of my mother's. As a result of that conversation I was able to tell her about my mom's terminal cancer and lupus and that she only had a few months to live. This allowed her the opportunity to visit my mother one last time.

How amazing is that? We were a state away in an arena packed with 13,000+ strangers and out of all the people that God could place in front of me that evening, it was this woman.

To me, that is a Confirming Circumstance.

Ryan Bitters
Stronger In Faith

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Thank you for taking the time to read this 'Wandering Thoughts'.  If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you.  You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

May you be blessed today.  

The Reluctant Attendee

Have you ever not wanted to do something while knowing it would benefit you?

This story is just that. It describes a series of events that led me to attend a retreat weekend that resulted in changing me "From The Inside Out". It is also an example of what I call a "Confirming Circumstance". A set of events that individually might seem like coincidences, but together are so much more. I leave it for you to decide what these events mean.

In the spring of 2012, I was really struggling with my faith. I was doing the happy Christian on Sundays but my walk with God was non-existent.

During that spring, I had a number of opportunities and invites to attend different retreats. I was avoiding these because I really didn't want to deal with God.

But God had other ideas.

May 2012

I was winding down a contract with a customer. I am a software solution consultant and often have multiple customers at a time. In my entire career, I have never had even one day of break between customers. There was no other work lined up with nothing pressing in terms of deadlines.

Monday, May 21st.

I receive an email from my friend Robb. He would like to get together and talk about a retreat he would like me to go on. I agree but I am already thinking of my excuses not to go.

Tuesday, May 22nd.

I meet with Robb. He tells me about the retreat. Well, he doesn't tell me anything about the retreat except to say that it starts in 2 days (Thursday), I will be away and off the grid until Sunday, and finally, I will experience God's unconditional love. No other details.

From just about anybody else, I would have blown them off right away. Robb is a close friend who has seen my struggles although like a typical guy, I had not let him in on most of it. I told him I would think about it. And by thinking I mean, how am I going to get out of it?

My fail safe excuses weren't going to work. I had no work commitments holding me back. I had no requirements to stay connected to a phone or internet. I had no easy excuses.

That evening, my wife and I met with our weekly small group. Most of the time, it is a very safe environment where we don't get into our personal feelings. This night was different. Our leader Matt, suggested that we break up into groups, men and women. This was trouble. We were going to be talking about personal stuff.

Now, I am an honest guy. If you ask me a pointed question, I will answer you as honestly as I can. When the conversation came around to me, I answered. I told them about the invite earlier in the day.

I told them I didn't want to go. I told them I was struggling with God. I told them I had never experienced 'unconditional love'. I told them I didn't know anybody who was going.

I was hoping for a "That's crazy! Don't go".

Instead, the quietest guy of the group looked at me and said "Why wouldn't you go?".

I had no answer.

Wednesday, May 23rd.

I meet Robb early every Wednesday for breakfast at 6:30 am with a bunch of other guys.

After the breakfast, Robb asked me if I had made a decision. I told him no.

Well, I lied, I admit it! I was still hoping for a way out of this.

He told me that he found out about one person who was going that I knew. Kelvin and I used to go to the same church. We weren't close friends but enough that we would still say hi and talk. Since I had changed churches, I only saw him a couple of times a year at random outings.

I left the breakfast promising Robb a call by the afternoon with my answer.

I went directly to our chiropractor after the breakfast. As I pulled into the parking lot, the car directly in my line of vision had two people getting out of it. Kelvin and his wife!

I started laughing out loud in my car and said "Okay God, I will go but I'm still not happy about it".

I spoke to Kelvin and found out that this was his third year of being invited. He had managed to get out of the previous two. He left saying, "I will see you there.". Not realizing that he had just committed himself too.


Thursday, May 24th.


I went to the retreat. I am so thankful that God would get involved in the small details of my life to ensure that I would experience His unconditional love.

He wants to share this with all of us.


Have you got a 'Confirming Circumstance' you would like to share?  Feel free to contact me or share it in the comments below.

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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many 'Wandering Thoughts' that God has been putting on my heart.  If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you.  You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

May you be blessed today.  

Reaching 1000

I am a numbers guy.

Give me some data about monthly expenditures, and I will create a graph to visualize where the money is being spent. Give me stock details and I will generate reports showing returns, projected returns and degrees of fluctuation.  Like Neo in the Matrix, I see numbers everywhere.

I have spent all of my professional career working with data in a realm called Business Intelligence.

This week, Wandering Thoughts hit 1000 pageviews!  Now 'pageviews' means nothing more than somebody having clicked on a link to the web page you are looking at right now.  In fact, it doesn't guarantee anything other than that.  For all I know, you may be the only person to ever read this far!

The blogging tool (Blogger) comes with all sorts of really cool stats related reports to help you understand where the readers are coming from geographically, what time they are reading it, what was the source of the link (Facebook, Google +, etc) or even which browser you are using to read this.

Really cool stuff for a geek like me.

But the amazing thing about hitting 1000 pageviews is, I am not a writer.

I spent high school and college struggling to get a passing grade in English and any other class involving substantial writing. I despised writing! I have great disdain for any game that requires usage of my limited vocabulary.

However, I do appreciate other peoples' written material. I have read blogs from friends and have admired how they could take the most simple event, and capture your attention for 10 to 15 minutes with stories like "getting a phone line."

I am doing something I wasn't originally created to do, just like the ceremonial water jars.  

A number of years ago, I asked a good friend and musician (Geoff Dresser), to speak at a retreat I was organizing.  He spoke about Jesus' first miracle, turning water into wine.

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.
Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”
They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” John 2:6-10 (NIV)

Most have heard this story about water turning into wine. What blew me away that day was the focus on the water jugs.  The Jewish people were infatuated with being "clean". Anything deemed "unclean" that they came in touch with, required that they clean themselves in a ritual fashion.  Unclean things included specific animals, gentile people (basically anybody not Jewish) and a huge list of others.  If in doubt, clean.

Jesus used the jugs dedicated to cleaning the unclean; to turn water into wine.  And not just wine, the choicest of all wines!  He can take anything, any vessel and make it shine with His glory.

A washing jug into a wine barrel.
A stuttering nomad into a leader of thousands (Moses).
A fisherman into a preacher (Peter).
A persecutor of Christians into the primary author of the New Testament (Paul).
A data geek into a story teller.

What is it that God is turning you into?

I am still a numbers guy.  And while 1000 is an impressive number, I am mostly interested in the number three.  There have been 3 interactions I would like to share with you that have blessed me and encouraged me to keep on writing Wandering Thoughts.

1. A complete stranger from a far away country has connected and responded in a tangible way to these stories.
2. Someone I thought who would never read these, came to me and unprovoked, said "I want to tell you that what you wrote was wonderful - just wonderful".  I don't remember the rest, I was choked up.
3. A stranger emailed me to tell me that he had met my son and to keep praying, it was working.  (Stepping Out Into The Storm)

I want to thank you all for your comments, 'likes' (Facebook), 'pluses' (Google +), encouragements and prayers. I am thankful God is using me in this season to write.  I don't know how long it will last.  And like today, I don't know how many more mornings I can afford to be woken up at 4 am to write these inspirations!  :-)  

For the time being, I will rejoice in being His water jug.


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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many 'Wandering Thoughts' that God has been putting on my heart.  If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you.  You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

May you be blessed today.  

Confirming Circumstances

A few years ago, I sat beside an older woman on a plane for my trip home from a business trip.  It didn't take long and we were having a grand old chat.  She was going to visit her niece.  One thing led to another and we discovered her niece is one of my good friends.  We got off the plane and together met my friend to her surprise.

Quite the coincidence, eh?!  <If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm Canadian and proud of it!>

Or was it?

It is funny how many people, regardless of their religious beliefs, will make a statement like "I believe that everything happens for a reason".  That is a tough pill to swallow in the midst of some significant storms in your life. I believe that there are chance encounters but I also believe that our path is often laid out before us.

I've had a number of events in my life that when I describe them to people, they look at me like I might be losing it.  Not an uncommon theme but I can tell they aren't connecting with what I am saying.  I am describing how a series of events in my life have aligned me to do something, and it can only be God orchestrated.

Every year at our church, we do a short series on how to know if God is speaking to us.  There are five bullets to this which include:

1. Biblical - is the event supported by the Bible
2. Holy Spirit - am I sensing His presence in the situation
3. Godly Advice - either seeked or freely given, do Godly advisors support what I am feeling
4. God's Silence - am I hearing God in the situation
5. Confirming Circumstances - are the events in my life leading me in the direction

Confirming Circumstances.

This is when things just align to get you to that place.  To make it happen when something seems impossible.  When you can look back at your life and see a sharp veer in the direction and realize that it wasn't anything you did.

The Bible is full of Confirming Circumstances.  In the Bible, it is called fulfilling the prophecies.

The birth of Jesus Christ.  Even if you are a non-believer, you have to be impressed that a book written hundreds of years earlier foretold of the birth of a baby boy in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2) who was of the family of Jesse (Isaiah 11:1), the house of David (Jeremiah 23:5-6) and born of a virgin mother (Isaiah 7:14) .  And so many other fulfillment's.

How is that for Confirming Circumstances? 

In the upcoming weeks, I will be sharing stories that many will believe are coincidences.  Knowing what was happening in my life and having the ability to look back objectively, I know these events were not coincidences but rather God events. Confirming Circumstances for the life that God wants me to have.  These will include:

• The Reluctant Attendee - the story behind of how I ended up at the retreat that led to my change From The Inside Out.
• Reaching 1000 - how does a numbers guy turn into a writer?
• Just a Stranger (Guest Post) - the significance of a chance meeting.
• Was It Meant To Be (Guest Post) - a love story involving a truck stop.
• The Fly Fart - doesn't the title just make you want to read it?
• Fields of Grace (Guest Post) - a story of transformation
• February 28th - how the anniversary of the miscarriage of our only natural child became a day of celebration.

Perhaps you have a Confirming Circumstance to share? If you would like to share it, I would love to hear it. God has worked in our lives in so many ways, those stories need to be shared.

What story would you like to share today?


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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.

Loving The Other Mother (Guest Post)

Jenn Grimm is fellow blogger who I've really come to admire.  Her stories about their family of FIVE children through natural conception and adoption have really hit home.  She blogs at Growing Up Grimm.  I'm sure you will enjoy this as much as I have.  Originally published January 2, 2013.

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Loving The Other Mother by Jenn Grimm

The holidays seem to be an emotional time for many. This family is no exception. December was a bitter sweet month for me. All month long I was thinking about The Other Mother. She’s been on the back of my mind and someone that I pray for regularly since the moment I met her.

When we moved to North Dakota the plan was for us to adopt the two boys and for her to join us out here after the adoption was final. She is as much a part of this family as my son it. And while I didn't understand it at the time, the state of North Dakota denied Tough the transition into our home. He had to stay back in Montana while Mr. Man was able to continue to live with us. I didn't get it, but I knew that God was working something out for my good, Tough’s good, and HIS glory. Yet, it hurt. And it still does. My heart aches for a child that doesn't have a mama to hold him. Especially Tough, he is a wounded little soul. Marked by our fouled up system as unlovable, when I know that simply isn't true. He has a mama who desperately wants to hold him. Who loves him unconditionally, but because of our system is unable too. It looked so bleak.

About a month after finding out that Tough would not be coming to live with us I made the trip back to Montana to see The Other Mother. Her pain was written all over her face. She was soaked in hopelessness, and was turning her back on everything that she knew in her heart was good for her. She tried to pretend with me that things were going well, but there is something between our hearts that is connected and I knew. I knew in my soul that this mama was hurting. And it was easier for her to push me away, than for her to lose me like she’d lost everyone else that mattered to her. When I left the coffee shop that day I knew that I would not hear from her for a long time, but I prayed that she would eventually call. She is not an easy person to get ahold of, she keeps it that way. I remain constant, she can call me anytime, my number never changes and my door is always open.

A few days ago, Mr. Man was the first one up and we were snuggling on the couch. I asked him about The Other Mother. “I miss her.” He said. “Oh baby, I miss her too.” I replied. Oh how my heart just ached to know how she was doing. I just wanted to hear from her.

Last night at 8:30 pm I got a text. From the texts I had been getting that day I was exhausted by the drama that being friends with women brings, so I told Big T that I didn't even want to read it. So he got up and started to read it out loud to me.

“Hi, this is A (The other mother), I lost your number, but I found it again. I hope you are well. Trust in the Lord.”

I came out of my seat, snatched the phone away and called her immediately.

She was crying.

 We talked for about 2 hours. She is doing so well. But she didn't want to talk to me because she was afraid that I would be disappointed in her. She hasn't been doing well, only recently.

"Girl," I cried to her, "child, I LOVE you. Nothing changes that, ever. Not ever. Nothing you have done, are doing or will do will ever change how I love you. You are my heart."

As I said the words, knowing how true they were in my heart, and how I have only EVER felt this love for my children, I heard Christ.

This is what I think about you. He whispered to my soul.

I have been hiding for almost as long as The Other Mother. I have felt like a huge disappointment to someone that I love so much. I worry that I will lose His love, even when I know that is irrational thinking.

I said to her “I know you don’t believe that this love doesn't have a price, or limits. I know that is not a love you have experience before, but time will show you that what I say is true. I can love you despite yourself, not because of who you are, or what you do.”

“I am scared.” She whimpered back.

I thought to myself, “Me too.”

Jenn Grimm
Growing Up Grimm

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Thank you for taking the time to read this 'Wandering Thought'.  If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you.  You can leave a comment below, share your own personal revelations or send me a personal message on Google+.

May you be blessed today.  

Stepping Out Into The Storm

When I was a child, I used to get excited by storms.  I loved living through them.  The rain, the wind, the thunder and especially the lightning. The immense power displayed was amazing.  And if I could step outside into the storm, I would.

The storms in my life, not so much.

The first storm in my life would have been the day my mother told my sister and I that we were looking for a new home - without my father.  I remember the conversation vividly.  And now 35 years later, I realize it was the start of a storm in my life.

What constitutes a storm?

My definition would be anything that you can't control that WILL affect the way you will live the rest of your life.

Being male, admitting that I am unable to control something is not in my vocabulary.  As a result, when the storm happens and things spiral completely out of control, my reaction is to fix it, to control it, to set it right.

And I am always going to fail with this approach.

The book of Job gives us a great example of how to deal with the storms. After losing his children, his wealth and then his health, we see this exchange between Job and his wife.

His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”. He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”. In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10 (NIV)

We don't try to control the good times or try to fix them.  Why then, should we try to control the 'trouble'?

Where we live, the legal age for a person is the age of 16.  Meaning, at the age of 16 they can choose to leave the family home.  The day after celebrating his 16th birthday with family and friends, our son told us of his wish to move out of the family home. No money. Nowhere specific to go.  He just wanted to go.

One week earlier, this news would have destroyed me.  I would have tried to fix it, to control it, to set it right. The confrontation would have been ugly and broken our relationship.

But just 4 days earlier I had been prepared for this moment.  So instead, we are trusting God.  We released him.  We told him that we love him and that he is welcome home anytime.

And we started praying:

"Lord, please give our son supernatural insight into the choices that he is making.  Choices that will affect his life here on earth.  Protect him from his choices.  Provide him a strong Christian influence that will draw him back to You.  Thank you Lord, we trust You."  

I have stepped out into the storm.



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Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.

Jesus Freak

One of my favorite all-time Christian songs has to be 'Jesus Freak' by DC Talk.  So much so that I've borrowed the name for the classification of my religious beliefs on Facebook.  I first heard it not long after becoming a Christian and at the time, I often felt like or wished I was a true Jesus Freak described in the song.  

This summer, I was listening to the song on a walk and finally put 2 + 2 together to realize that the first half of the song is about John The Baptist.

There was a man from the desert with naps in his head
The sand that he walked was also his bed
The words that he spoke made the people assume
There wasn't too much left in the upper room
With skins on his back and hair on his face
They thought he was strange by the locusts he ate
The Pharisees tripped when they heard him speak
Until the king took the head of this Jesus freak

So I am slow with the lyrics, my wife not so much.  The revelation was significant due to a very interesting verse I was reflecting upon.

When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” - Matthew 11:2-3 (NIV)

This came while reading 'The Circle Maker' by Mark Batterson (a terrific read btw), and he was talking about how Jesus responded to the question.  I wasn't there yet.  I was stuck on 'Why' John would ask the question.  After all, he baptized Jesus and proclaimed that he was the one.  So why would he ask if there might be someone else?

This caused me to scour the Bible for all references about John the Baptist and look on-line for others who had done the same thing, all in search for why John would have any doubt that Jesus was the Messiah.

What I did learn was that:

• their mothers were related - Luke 1:36
• that they appeared to know of each other even though John was brought up in the desert - John 1:29
• John was not aware that Jesus was the Messiah prior to the baptism - John 1:29-34
• Jesus cared deeply for John - Matthew 14:12-13; Luke 7:28

I did not find anything that would give John a reason to doubt the validity of Jesus as the Messiah.  In fact, he asks this question after hearing about all the miracles performed by Jesus.  

So if John the Baptist can show doubt, why should we be surprised if we or someone we know, shows doubt?

We all know the Bible verses and stories.  We all have a God moment that we can bring to mind when we aren't in the face of trials and tribulations.  We all have a unique testimony made special by the sacrifice of God's Son and forgiveness of sins.   And yet, we have moments of doubt or struggles in our faith.

In February 2001, my wife and I were expecting our first child.  This was a special time for us.  We had spent years with infertility issues and after our second in vitro (IVF) procedure, we were blessed with a pregnancy.

On February 28th, the excitement turned to sorrow and pain.  After 16 weeks, well past the first trimester and supposed 'danger' zone, my wife's water broke unexpectedly and that started the chain of events to losing our child.

Why did you let this happen God?

Our doubts became the theme of our spiritual life for many months.

Back to the question that John posed.  I believe John was asking two questions that day.  The explicit question and then the implied question of 'If you are able to perform all those miracles, why am I still in prison'?

Why are you letting this happen Jesus?

Jesus understands both questions and responds graciously with:

Jesus replied, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see:  The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” - Matthew 11:4-6 (NIV)

He doesn't simply say "Yes, I am the one to come".  He answers the explicit question with the reference to the miracles - which John already knew.  He then answers the implied question with: "Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me".

Does not stumble on account of me. Why would Jesus think that someone would stumble as a result of Him?

The ESV translation puts it this way:

"And blessed is the one who is not offended by me". (ESV)

A lost child.  A broken marriage.  A fatal car accident.  A life changing illness.  Sexual assault. <insert your own personal crisis here>.

Any of these life experiences can cause us to question God.  Why God?  Why are you letting this happen Jesus?  And if we trust God, we can be offended if our dreams are shattered.  And the worst cases, walk away from our faith.  For myself, I was almost there until I was changed "From The Inside Out".

For my wife and I, the miscarriage of our only natural child was a loss that still hurts even 12 years later.  We don't have the answers to why and while our faith was shaken, we have been blessed beyond belief.  We now celebrate every February 28th instead of mourning, but that is a story for another day. As difficult as it has been, we have learned to trust God even in our pain.

Many of you are struggling with something that is beyond your control and comprehension.  I have no words of wisdom as to why it is happening.  I do know that God is feeling your pain and He is there for you, to love you and comfort you.

Are you ready to trust God in your pain?


__________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read one of the many Wandering Thoughts that God has been putting on my heart. If this has touched you in anyway, I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below and share your own personal revelations; or send me a personal message on Google+ or Facebook.

If you enjoyed this, please sign up here for email updates to never miss another Wandering Thought.

Have a wonderful day.